Sunday 31 October 2010

:: Safe Sex in Islam ::

The Islamic Aproach to Intimacy with Imam Siraj Wahhaj on TheDeenShow



:: I love You! ::

AssalamAlaikum,

I wanna tell you that... I love you for the sake of Allah(SWT)!!!

Alhamdulillah! For He is the one who bring us together and provide us the support of each other, though we are miles apart... and for some, whom I've never seen before~

AllahuAkbar! He's the Greatest of all! Yay!


W'salam,
Khadijah C.


Posted by iloveAllaah.com Team • October 24, 2010

Saying that you love your brothers and friends is part of the etiquette of keeping righteous company, and is a noble and good characteristic.

Telling people that you love them increases the bonds of love and strengthens the ties among Muslims.

It was narrated from Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) that a man was with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when another man passed by and he said: O Messenger of Allaah, I love this man. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to him: “Have you told him?” He said: No. He said: “Tell him.” So he caught up with him and said: I love you for the sake of Allaah. He said: May the one for Whose sake you love me also love you. Narrated by Abu Dawood (no. 5125) and classed as saheeh by al-Nawawi in Riyadh al-Saaliheen (183) and classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood. In some reports of the hadeeth it says: “Tell him for it will strengthen the love between you.” Narrated by Ibn Abi’l-Dunya in al-Ikhwaan (69).

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

That is because this word will instil love in his heart, because if a person knows that you love him, he will love you, even though hearts may recognize and love one another without actually speaking, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Souls are like conscripted soldiers; those whom they recognize, they get along with, and those whom they do not recognize, they will not get along with.” But if a person says it with his tongue, this will increase the love in the heart, so you should say: “I love you for the sake of Allaah.”


Sharh Riyadh al-Saaliheen.

It was narrated that al-Miqdaam ibn Ma’di Yakrib (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If one of you loves his brother, let him tell him.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (2392) and classed as hasan by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (417).

It was narrated from ‘Ali ibn al-Husayn ibn ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If one of you loves his brother for the sake of Allaah, let him tell him, for it does good and makes the love last.”

Shaykh al-Albaani said in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (1199):

It was narrated by Wakee’ in al-Zuhd (2/67/2) with a saheeh isnaad from ‘Ali ibn al-Husayn in a marfoo’ report.

I (al-Albaani) say: ‘Ali ibn al-Husayn is the grandson of ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib; he is thiqah jaleel (honest and great man) one of the men of the two Shaykhs (al-Bukhaari and Muslim). So it is mursal with a saheeh isnaad.

There is collaborating evidence in the hadeeth of Mujaahid which is also mursal; this was narrated by Ibn Abi’l-Dunya in Kitaab al-Ikhwaan and in al-Fath al-Kabeer (1/67). There is another corroborating report from Yazeed ibn Na’aamah al-Dubbi, which I narrated in the other book (1726). When all the isnaads are taken into account, the hadeeth is hasan, in sha Allaah.

What is meant here is that it is mustahabb; it is not obligatory.

Al-Manaawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

“Let him tell him that he loves him for the sake of Allaah” means, it is mustahabb for him to tell him, by saying I love you for the sake of Allaah, i.e., not for any other reason such as kindness and so on, because it ensures that the bond will last longer and makes love stronger, and it increases and multiplies love, and brings people together, thus the Muslims will be united, and troubles and grudges will be dispelled. This is one of the good features of Islam.


Fayd al-Qadeer (1/319).

Thursday 28 October 2010

:: inspiredbymuhammad.com ::

Assalam Alaikum! =)

Just wanting to share this site, http://inspiredbymuhammad.com~

The Inspired by Muhammad campaign is designed to improve the public understanding of Islam and Muslims. It showcases Britons demonstrating how Muhammad inspires them to contribute to society, with a focus on women’s rights, social justice and the environment. The campaign coincides with a national poll conducted by YouGov which shows that 69% of people believe that Islam encourages the oppression of women, that just 6% of people associate Islam with justice and that a mere 6% believe that Islam promotes active measures to protect the environment. Overall, nearly half of all people in the UK believe that Islam does not have a positive impact on British society.

 MashaAllah! Finally someone is standing out to give the true teachings of Islam and how great our Prophet Muhammad (PUBH) is!

Yay! Yay! =D

W'salam,
Khadijah C.

Friday 22 October 2010

:: Are you grateful for what is given ::

Assalam Alaikum,

As we worry about what facial products are the best for us girls, how we complain when we have dark eyes rings and how small our eyes and noses are... Have we ever thank Allah(SWT) for what were given to us?

But He fashioned him in due proportion, and breathed into him something of His spirit. And He gave you (the faculties of) hearing and sight and feeling (and understanding): little thanks do ye give!
( سورة السجدة , As-Sajda, Chapter #32, Verse #9)
 


Thursday 21 October 2010

:: The sweetness of our Deen ::



:: A land called Paradise ::

presented by www.masmediafoundation.org

Film Description
In December 2007, over 2,000 American Muslims were asked what they would wish to say to the rest of the world. This is what they said. A music video for Kareem Salama's "A Land Called Paradise."

Produced and directed by Lena Khan. A MAS Media Foundation Production.

Thursday 7 October 2010

:: Prophet Muhammad's love for his wives ::



Assalam Alaikum,

Upon listening to this song again, I could briefly relate how Prophet Muhammad could have felt when Angel Jibril came to him~ The confusion, the uncertainty in the remaining journey in life and the increasing expectations from him~ 

Indeed, love deepens and grows much when someone was there to believe you when others did not and supported you when times were bad~

That's the noble job of the women! =D And those who are always there for reverts in Islam... =D



W'salam,
Khadijah C.

Wednesday 6 October 2010

:: Learning points from Mrs Lee ::

Assalam Alaikum,

Just at this life stage when I'm brainstorming about my life, personalities like Mrs Lee provide me a role model to follow~

This post is a followup of my previous blogpost "The last farewell to my wife "

Madam Kwa Geok Choo is the wife of the founding father of Singapore, Mr Lee Kuan Yew. He is an amazing man, well-respected by people all over the world. He is the one who puts Singapore up on the global stage~

And behind such an amazing man, is the never ending support from his wife, Madam Kwa Geok Choo.

These are the things I learnt from the life of Mdm Kwa in her life story.

1) The true love story last a long long time - "Together forever, till the end of time"
  • My wife and I have been together since 1947 for more than three quarters of our lives.
  • I have precious memories of our 63 years together.
  • Her last wish she shared with me was to enjoin our children to have our ashes placed together, as we were in life.

2) Soul mates influence each other
  • Without her, I would be a different man, with a different life. She devoted herself to me and our children. She was always there when I needed her. She has lived a life full of warmth and meaning.
  • We gradually influenced each other’s ways and habits as we adjusted and accommodated each other. We knew that we could not stay starry-eyed lovers all our lives; that life was an on-going challenge with new problems to resolve and manage.

3) Partnership is not able materials fulfillment, it's the little bits and pieces of life story which keeps two hearts beating as one
  • In our quiet moments, we would revisit our lives and times together.
  • We never argued over the upbringing of our children, nor over financial matters. Our earnings and assets were jointly held. We were each other’s confidant.

4) Having faith in each other's commitment
  • As a young man with an interrupted education at Raffles College, and no steady job or profession, her parents did not look upon me as a desirable son-in-law. But she had faith in me. We had committed ourselves to each other.

5) To be the pillar of support by providing sound advices / knowledge
  • She helped me draft the Constitution of the PAP.
  • She drafted the undertaking as part of the constitutional amendment of the Federation of Malaysia Constitution itself. She was precise and meticulous in her choice of words.
  • She had an uncanny ability to read the character of a person. She would sometimes warn me to be careful of certain persons; often, she turned out to be right.

6) Lastly, to put the other half before oneself, even when one's unwell.
  • When I kissed her on her cheek, she told me not to come too close to her in case I caught her pneumonia. I assured her that the doctors did not think that was likely because I was active.
  • When given some peaches in hospital, she asked the maid to take one home for my lunch. I was at the centre of her life.
  • The last two years of her life were the most difficult. She was bedridden after small successive strokes; she could not speak but she was still cognisant. Every night she would wait for me to sit by her to tell her of my day’s activities and to read her favourite poems. Then she would sleep.

InsyahAllah, let me be like Mdm Kwa in supporting my other half, to love the one I marry~

W'salam,
Khadijah C.

:: "The last farewell to my wife" ::

EULOGY BY MINISTER MENTOR AT THE FUNERAL SERVICE OF MRS LEE KUAN YEW, MANDAI CREMATORIUM, 6 OCTOBER 2010

Ancient peoples developed and ritualised mourning practices to express the shared grief of family and friends, and together show not fear or distaste for death, but respect for the dead one; and to give comfort to the living who will miss the deceased. I recall the ritual mourning when my maternal grandmother died some 75 years ago. For five nights the family would gather to sing her praises and wail and mourn at her departure, led by a practised professional mourner. Such rituals are no longer observed. My family’s sorrow is to be expressed in personal tributes to the matriarch of our family.

In October 2003 when she had her first stroke, we had a strong intimation of our mortality. 

My wife and I have been together since 1947 for more than three quarters of our lives. My grief at her passing cannot be expressed in words. But today, when recounting our lives together, I would like to celebrate her life.

In our quiet moments, we would revisit our lives and times together. We had been most fortunate. At critical turning points in our lives, fortune favoured us.

As a young man with an interrupted education at Raffles College, and no steady job or profession, her parents did not look upon me as a desirable son-in-law. But she had faith in me. We had committed ourselves to each other. I decided to leave for England in September 1946 to read law, leaving her to return to Raffles College to try to win one of the two Queen’s Scholarships awarded yearly. We knew that only one Singaporean would be awarded. I had the resources, and sailed for England, and hoped that she would join me after winning the Queen’s Scholarship. If she did not win it, she would have to wait for me for three years.

In June the next year, 1947, she did win it. But the British colonial office could not get her a place in Cambridge. Through Chief Clerk of Fitzwilliam, I discovered that my Censor at Fitzwilliam, W S Thatcher, was a good friend of the Mistress of Girton, Miss Butler. He gave me a letter of introduction to the Mistress. She received me and I assured her that Choo would most likely take a “First”, because she was the better student when we both were at Raffles College. I had come up late by one term to Cambridge, yet passed my first year qualifying examination with a class 1. She studied Choo’s academic record and decided to admit her in October that same year, 1947.

We have kept each other company ever since. We married privately in December 1947 at Stratford-upon-Avon. At Cambridge, we both put in our best efforts. She took a first in two years in Law Tripos II. I took a double first, and a starred first for the finals, but in three years. We did not disappoint our tutors. Our Cambridge Firsts gave us a good start in life. Returning to Singapore, we both were taken on as legal assistants in Laycock & Ong, a thriving law firm in Malacca Street. Then we married officially a second time that September 1950 to please our parents and friends. She practised conveyancing and draftsmanship, I did litigation.

In February 1952, our first son Hsien Loong was born. She took maternity leave for a year. That February, I was asked by John Laycock, the Senior Partner, to take up the case of the Postal and Telecommunications Uniformed Staff Union, the postmen’s union. They were negotiating with the government for better terms and conditions of service. Negotiations were deadlocked and they decided to go on strike. It was a battle for public support. I was able to put across the reasonableness of their case through the press and radio. After a fortnight, they won concessions from the government. Choo, who was at home on maternity leave, pencilled through my draft statements, making them simple and clear.

Over the years, she influenced my writing style. Now I write in short sentences, in the active voice. We gradually influenced each other’s ways and habits as we adjusted and accommodated each other. We knew that we could not stay starry-eyed lovers all our lives; that life was an on-going challenge with new problems to resolve and manage.

We had two more children, Wei Ling in 1955 and Hsien Yang in 1957. She brought them up to be well-behaved, polite, considerate and never to throw their weight as the prime minister’s children. As a lawyer, she earned enough, to free me from worries about the future of our children.

She saw the price I paid for not having mastered Mandarin when I was young. We decided to send all three children to Chinese kindergarten and schools. She made sure they learned English and Malay well at home. Her nurturing has equipped them for life in a multi-lingual region.

We never argued over the upbringing of our children, nor over financial matters. Our earnings and assets were jointly held. We were each other’s confidant.

She had simple pleasures. We would walk around the Istana gardens in the evening, and I hit golf balls to relax. Later, when we had grandchildren, she would take them to feed the fish and the swans in the Istana ponds. Then we would swim. She was interested in her surroundings, for
instance, that many bird varieties were pushed out by mynahs and crows eating up the insects and vegetation. She discovered the curator of the gardens had cleared wild grasses and swing fogged for mosquitoes, killing off insects they fed on. She stopped this and the bird varieties returned. She surrounded the swimming pool with free flowering scented flowers and derived great pleasure smelling them as she swam. She knew each flower by its popular and botanical
names. She had an enormous capacity for words.

She had majored in English literature at Raffles College and was a voracious reader, from Jane Austen to JRR Tolkien, from Thucydides’ The Peloponnesian Wars to Virgil’s Aeneid, to The Oxford Companion to Food, and Seafood of Southeast Asia, to Roadside Trees of Malaya, and Birds of Singapore.

She helped me draft the Constitution of the PAP. For the inaugural meeting at Victoria Memorial Hall on 4 November 1954, she gathered the wives of the founder members to sew rosettes for those who were going on stage. In my first election for Tanjong Pagar, our home in Oxley Road, became the HQ to assign cars provided by my supporters to ferry voters to the polling booth. She warned me that I could not trust my new found associates, the leftwing trade unionists led by Lim Chin Siong. She was furious that he never sent their high school student helpers to canvass for me in Tanjong Pagar, yet demanded the use of cars provided by my supporters to ferry my Tanjong Pagar voters. She had an uncanny ability to read the character of a person. She would
sometimes warn me to be careful of certain persons; often, she turned out to be right.

When we were about to join Malaysia, she told me that we would not succeed because the UMNO Malay leaders had such different lifestyles and because their politics were communally-based, on race and religion. I replied that we had to make it work as there was no better choice. But she was right. We were asked to leave Malaysia before two years.

When separation was imminent, Eddie Barker, as Law Minister, drew up the draft legislation for the separation. But he did not include an undertaking by the Federation Government to guarantee the observance of the two water agreements between the PUB and the Johor state government. I asked Choo to include this. She drafted the undertaking as part of the constitutional amendment of the Federation of Malaysia Constitution itself. She was precise and meticulous in her choice of words. The amendment statute was annexed to the Separation Agreement, which we then registered with the United Nations. The then Commonwealth Secretary Arthur Bottomley said that if other federations were to separate, he hoped they would do it as professionally as Singapore and Malaysia. It was a compliment to Eddie’s and Choo’s
professional skills. Each time Malaysian Malay leaders threatened to cut off our water supply, I was reassured that this clear and solemn international undertaking by the Malaysian government in its Constitution will get us a ruling by the UNSC (United Nations Security Council).

After her first stroke, she lost her left field of vision. This slowed down her reading. She learned to cope, reading with the help of a ruler. She swam every evening and kept fit. She continued to travel with me, and stayed active despite the stroke. She stayed in touch with her family and old friends. She listened to her collection of CDs, mostly classical, plus some golden oldies. She jocularly divided her life into “before stroke” and “after stroke”, like BC and
AD.

She was friendly and considerate to all associated with her. She would banter with her WSOs (woman security officers) and correct their English grammar and pronunciation in a friendly and cheerful way. Her former WSOs visited her when she was at NNI. I thank them all. (Listed in Appendix A)

Her second stroke on 12 May 2008 was more disabling. I encouraged and cheered her on, helped by a magnificent team of doctors, surgeons, therapists and nurses. (Listed in Appendix B.)

Her nurses, WSOs and maids all grew fond of her because she was warm and considerate. When she coughed, she would take her small pillow to cover her mouth because she worried for them and did not want to infect them.

Her mind remained clear but her voice became weaker. When I kissed her on her cheek, she told me not to come too close to her in case I caught her pneumonia. I assured her that the doctors did not think that was likely because I was active. When given some peaches in hospital, she asked the maid to take one home for my lunch. I was at the centre of her life.

On 24 June 2008, a CT scan revealed another bleed again on the right side of her brain. There was not much more that medicine or surgery could do except to keep her comfortable.

I brought her home on 3 July 2008. The doctors expected her to last a few weeks. She lived till 2nd October, 2 years and 3 months. She remained lucid. They gave time for me and my children to come to terms with the inevitable. In the final few months, her faculties declined. She could not
speak but her cognition remained. She looked forward to have me talk to her every evening.

Her last wish she shared with me was to enjoin our children to have our ashes placed together, as we were in life.

The last two years of her life were the most difficult. She was bedridden after small successive strokes; she could not speak but she was still cognisant. Every night she would wait for me to sit by her to tell her of my day’s activities and to read her favourite poems. Then she would sleep.

I have precious memories of our 63 years together. Without her, I would be a different man, with a different life. She devoted herself to me and our children. She was always there when I needed her. She has lived a life full of warmth and meaning.

I should find solace at her 89 years of her life well lived. But at this moment of the final parting, my heart is heavy with sadness.


Sunday 3 October 2010

:: What spouses' committment means ::

Assalam Alaikum,

A little sweet story on a cozy sunday~ =D
May we be as loyal and committed to our deen as Suhayla and Farooq~ 
Ameen Ameen Ameen~
So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief:  
verily, with every difficulty there is relief.  
(  سورة الشرح  , Al-Inshirah, Chapter #94, Verse #5)
W'salam,
Khadijah C.




:: Tribute to Mrs Lee ::



Assalam Alaikum,

The lifetime companion of Sinapore's founding father, Madam Kwa Geok Choo - the wife of Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew, and mother of Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong, has passed on peacefully on this fateful day~

The importance of a influential companion behind a successful man~

"If she weren't an influence, supposing I had married somebody else, I might have become a different person, not that I would be a different person, but the things that I would have been able to do, the kind of backdrop I would have had, family, support, would have been different," said MM Lee. 
Source : CNA

My salutations to her~

Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un allahuma ajirni fi museebatee wa akhlifli khairan minha~
"...Truly! To Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return." 
(  سورة البقرة  , Al-Baqara, Chapter #2, Verse #156)

W'salam,
Khadijah C.