Wednesday, 29 September 2010

:: Praying out in the open ::

Assalam Alaikum,

InsyahAllah, I want to experience such Ramadan too!
It would be too overpowering for me! hee~
Emo girl I am!

Khadijah C.

Monday, 27 September 2010

:: Spouse Selection: Do's and Don'ts Pt 2 ::

A Matter of Choice

Allah makes it abundantly clear that men may choose their wives, and are not obligated to marry anyone that they do not wish to marry. The Qur'an instructs,

"...Marry the women of your choice…"
(  سورة النساء  , An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #3)

Likewise, women cannot be forced to marry anyone whom they do not want to marry, and their free consent, void of any form or coercion, is a prerequisite for the validity of the marriage. The Prophet said,

"The widow and the divorced woman shall not be married until their order is obtained, and the virgin shall not be married until her consent is obtained." (Al-Bukhari).

For further evidence, we have from Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.67: The Prophet said,

"A matron should not be given in marriage except after consulting her; and a virgin should not be given in marriage except after her permission." The people asked, "O Allah's Apostle! How can we know her permission?" He said, "Her silence (indicates her permission)." Sahih Al-Bukhari Narrated by Abu Huraira.

In addition, form Abu Dawud and Ibn majah, we learn that "A girl came to the Prophet and informed him that her father had married her to her cousin against her wishes, whereupon the Prophet allowed her to exercise her choice. She then said, 'I am reconciled to what my father did, but I wanted to make it known to women that fathers have no say in this matter."

Likewise, through the Qur'an, widows are granted the right to remarry the man of their choice.

and those of you who die and leave wives behind them, they (the wives) shall wait (as regards their marriage) for four months and ten days, then when they have fulfilled their term, there is no sin on you if they (the wives) dispose of themselves in a just and honourable manner (i.e. they can marry). and Allah is Well-Acquainted with what you do.
( سورة البقرة , Al-Baqara, Chapter #2, Verse #234)


At the same time, Allah, in His Infinite Wisdom, has placed some limits on the choices. There are certain family ties between men and women that preclude the possibility of marriage.

And marry not women whom your fathers married,- except what is past: It was shameful and odious,- an abominable custom indeed. Prohibited to you (For marriage) are:- Your mothers, daughters, sisters; father's sisters, Mother's sisters; brother's daughters, sister's daughters; foster-mothers (Who gave you suck), foster-sisters; your wives' mothers; your step-daughters under your guardianship, born of your wives to whom ye have gone in,- no prohibition if ye have not gone in;- (Those who have been) wives of your sons proceeding from your loins; and two sisters in wedlock at one and the same time, except for what is past; for Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful;- Also (prohibited are) women already married, except those whom your right hands possess: Thus hath Allah ordained (Prohibitions) against you: Except for these, all others are lawful, provided ye seek (them in marriage) with gifts from your property,- desiring chastity, not lust, seeing that ye derive benefit from them, give them their dowers (at least) as prescribed; but if, after a dower is prescribed, agree Mutually (to vary it), there is no blame on you, and Allah is All-knowing, All-wise.
(  سورة النساء  , An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #22-24)

One final restriction of choices for marriage comes from a hadith that discourages trying to seek someone else's fiancée for marriage. The Prophet said,

"A believer is a brother of a believer. Hence it is not lawful for him to bargain upon the bargain of a brother, nor propose for (the hand of a girl) after the marriage proposal of his brother, until the latter (voluntarily) withdraws the proposal."

The Subject of Wealth

Once it has been determined that the person being considered for marriage is of a relative or tied in any way that prevents marriage according to the preceding list, the real selection process begins.

It is usually helpful to develop a list of requirements and expectations to see if the person offering marriage is really suitable. Sadly, the top item of the list for many people would be wealth. There is a serious misconception among many Muslims that the most important quality to look for in a future spouse is a high income.

Today, in some Muslim countries, hard working and sincere you brothers are prevented from taking a wife simply because they cannot meet the outrageously high demands for mahr (dowries - marriage gift to the bride). This is also why many parents insist that the suitors for their daughters must be doctors or engineers. In fact, the profession and income may not be indicators of the ability to be a good spouse at all.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8:454 Narrated by Sahl bin Sad As Said, "A man passed by Allah's Apostle and the prophet asked a man sitting beside him "What is you opinion about this (passer-by)?" he replied, "This (passer-by) is from the noble class of people. By Allah, if he should ask for a lady's hand in marriage, he ought to be given her in marriage, and if he in intercedes for somebody, his intercession will be accepted. Allah's Apostle kept quiet, and then another man passed by and Allah's Apostle asked the same man (his companion) again, "What is your opinion about this second one (passer-by)?" He said, "O Allah's Apostle! This person is one of the poor Muslims. If he should ask a lady's hand in marriage, no one will accept him, and if he intercedes for somebody, no one will accept his intercession, and if he talks, no one will listen to his talk." Then Allah's Apostle said, "This (poor man) is better than such a large number of the first type (i.e. rich men) as to fill the earth."

On the other hand, it is not realistic to expect a healthy man who refuses to work and lives in abject poverty to be a good choice for a husband. Likewise, neither wealth nor beauty should be the foremost qualities sought in a future bride.

Narrated Abu Huraira: "The Prophet , said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman, otherwise you will be a loser."

Fortunately, it is the right of the bride or groom to have someone fully investigate the person offering marriage. Nor does Islam consider it backbiting to give honest, accurate, even unfavorable information and advice about a potential bride or groom. It may, in fact be a good deed to do so because it may protect someone from entering into a bad marriage and potential harm.

Consider the case of Abu Juham bin Hudhaifah and Mu'awiyah ibn Abu Sufyan. Both of them proposed marriage to Fatimah bint Ghaity. The Prophet advised Fatimah not to marry either of them on the grounds that Mu'awiyah was then a pauper and Abu Juham was cruel and harsh. So she married Usamah.By following the Qur'an and Sunnah, and applying a realistic view of modern life's challenges and conditions, families should be able to produce a list of requirements for a likely match.

:: Spouse Selection: Do's and Don'ts Pt 3 ::

Other Criteria For Evaluating a Potential Spouse:

Among the factors that might be considered a potential spouse are the following:

1. Deen - Is this person doing what is good, refraining from what is wrong in all aspects of his or her life or is this person compromising and rationalizing some slackness in the Deen? Does he or she consistently perform and practice the pillars of Islam? Does this person have a balanced understanding of Islam or is their perspective too rigid, harsh, or lenient?

2. Character - Does this person exhibit the qualities of Islamic character such as integrity, compassion, unselfishness, and humility?

3. Mental Health/Emotional Stability - Does this person demonstrate the Iman (faith) and coping skills to endure the countless challenges of modern life while also meeting his or her responsibilities to a family? Is this a person who would be willing to seek counseling and accept advice and/or medication if stress started to become overwhelming?

4. Green card/Immigration status - Is this person likely to be deported at a moment's notice? Can this person accompany you for Hajj or Umrah without worrying about being denied re-entry to this country? Is securing his or her immigration status the primary motivation for marrying you? In too many such cases, as soon as the green cark is obtained, the marriage ends with divorce or abandonment. It is especially tragic when children from such a marriage are totally forgotten as the man or woman returns to another country to marry someone else.

5. Family life priorities - Is this person willing to make family life a priority? Is the person able to adjust his or her career and social schedule to meet the responsibilities and need of family life?

6. Previous marriages - It is important to find out from reliable, unbiased sources why any previous marriages failed. It might be quite naïve to merely accept a person's explanation. Was this person a wife-beater? Was a woman so extravagant that her husband was overwhelmed with debt? Was this person an adulterer?

7. Past Criminal Involvement - Of course rehabilitation is possible, especially if the person became Muslim after incarceration. There are many ex-offenders who totally reformed their lives and upon release from prison became positive leaders in their communities. Consider the example of Malik Shabazz (Malcolm X). However, one should certainly not enter marriage with a former felon blindly. Occasionally and quite understandably, the experience of extended confinement and exposure to all of the abuses that may occur at the hands of fellow inmates and sadistic guards can have lasting traumatic and negative effects on a person's sense of security, self-esteem, and ability to trust another human being. In addition, prospective spouse has the right to know about the terms of a person's parole or probation.

8. General Health - A person has the right to know what it is reasonable to expect regarding a future spouse's overall health condition and how it might impact the marriage. Has this person been exposed to tuberculosis or hepatitis? Does this person have any sexually transmitted diseases? At the risk of possibly offending a prospective suitor, many Muslim physicians now recommend requiring testing for H.I.V. In one heart-breaking case, a nineteen year-old virgin sister was married off to a young man who presented himself as a pious, practicing Muslim. Within less than a year, that sister had contracted AIDS from her husband and died. Parents who find this an awkward request are learning to say, "We believe that you are chaste, but for the security of our daughter, we must insist on this procedure. Just to be fair, we will also have our daughter, who we know is chaste, take the same test and give you the results."

Notes On Polygyny

This article would be remiss if it failed to offer a few words of advice about polygyny (Polygyny is the practice of having more than one wife. People often refer to this as polygamy, but that is a misnomer in Islam. Polygamy actually means multiple spouses, male or female.

In Islam, women can only be married to one man at a time, though man may have multiple wives. Granted, polygyny is a right of Muslim men stipulated by Allah in the Qur'an.)

And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan-girls then Marry (other) women ofyour choice, two or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (the slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice.
( سورة النساء , An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #3)

Polygyny is obviously a halaal option available to Muslim men. However, it is NOT a fard (required duty) for every Muslim male. The abuses of polygyny, which have been increasing lately, particularly in the U.S., indicate a total misunderstanding of the institution.

A man should not consider polygyny as a solution to his failure to be a good husband to his first wife. Chances are he will simply be multiplying the problem. If the first marriage is dysfunctional, becoming polygynous is likely to multiply the dysfunctionality.

Before a man ever dreams of taking a second, third or fourth wife, he must make sure that he has been a model husband with his first wife. That means he should be providing all her needs in terms of food, clothing, shelter, affection, time, and attention. He should be making their home a good Islamic environment and helping her to grow in her knowledge and practice of the Deen.

If he is not doing these things well, it would be quite foolish to imagine that acquiring an additional wife (more duties and responsibilities) will improve life for him, his first wife, or his children from the first wife.

Brother, please let go of your adolescent fantasies and recognize that for a Muslim man the key ingredient in polygyny is not lust, but responsibility. Brothers should consider that Prophet Muhammad was monogamous throughout his marriage to Khadija (R). Only after her death did he take on multiple wives (R). Even then, the primary motivations in many of those marriages were to shelter and secure widows and orphans, to consolidate relations with allies, and to enhance the legacy of Islam that his widows would be able to provide to the Ummah.

In other words, Rasulullah was very mindful of his responsibilities as he took on each additional wife, and he never neglected his duties to any of them. He was always very fair, and very sensitive to the emotions and feelings of all. How many brothers contemplating polygyny today ever consider the first wife's feelings or their children's feelings? They seem to be forgetting the warning of the Qur'an in this regard.

Another concern about polygyny is the mentality of some Muslim women who accept proposals to enter into polygyny because of desperation. Sometimes, even though a sister does not really want to be in a polygynous marriage, she accepts the proposal thinking that this is a backdoor entry to "win" the man of her dreams. Her secret plan may be to appear to accept becoming the co-wife but to eventually eliminate the first wife from the picture. Such a strategy is both treacherous and un-Islamic. After all, co-wives are also sisters in Islam. Therefore, certain basic mutual duties and a general decorum of mutual respect and concern are required of them.

Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire: But turn not away (from a woman) altogether, so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air). If Ye come to a friendly understanding, and practise self- restraint, Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.
( سورة النساء , An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #129)


The most useful tool Muslims have available for the selection of a spouse is the Istikhara. As with any major decision, after conducting careful research of the options, assets, and liabilities involved, it is best to ask Allah (SWT) to guide our hearts and minds to make the proper choice. Sahih Al-Bukhari, Hadith 9.487, narrated by Jabir bin Abdullah, As-Salami:

Allah's Apostle use to teach his companions to perform the prayer of Istikhara for each and every matter. He use to say, "If anyone of you intends to do some thing, he should offer a two rakat prayer other than the compulsory prayers, and after finishing it, he should say: O Allah! I consult You, for You have all knowledge, and appeal to You to support me with Your Power and ask for Your Bounty, for You are able to do things while I am not, and You know while I do not; and You are the Knower of the Unseen. O Allah if You know that this matter (name you matter) is good for me both at present and in the future, (or in my religion), in this life and in the Hereafter, then fulfill it for me and make it easy for me, and then bestow Your Blessings on me in that matter. O Allah! If You know that this matter is not good for me in my religion, in this life and in my coming Hereafter (or at present or in the future), then divert me from it and choose for me what is good wherever it may be, and make me be pleased with it."


One of the most important decisions we can make in this lifetime is the decision of whom we should marry. It should be made without desperation or haste. The choice should be made with careful analysis of facts, and with Allah's guidance from Qur'an, Sunnah, and Istikhara.

It should be made while bearing in mind that the purpose of an Islamic marriage is to have a spouse who helps one to attain jannah (paradise). This means that compatibility, commitment, and most of all, consciousness of Allah, must be qualities shared by husband and wives.

The ideal mate for any person is one who will keep them mindful of Allah, keep the home and family life pleasant and comfortable, and gladly keep observing all the injunctions of Islam in the home and in the community.

The ideal mate is one who will keep them mindful of Allah, keep the home and family life pleasant and comfortable, and gladly keep observing all the injunctions of Islam in the home and in the community. The ideal mate is one who is ever mindful of the following ayats:

Be quick in the race for forgiveness from your Lord, and for a Garden whose width is that (of the whole) of the heavens and of the earth, prepared for the righteous, Those who spend (freely), whether in prosperity, or in adversity; who restrain anger, and pardon (all) men;- for Allah loves those who do good; Those who spend (freely), whether in prosperity, or in adversity; who restrain anger, and pardon (all) men;- for Allah loves those who do good;-
( سورة آل عمران , Aal-e-Imran, Chapter #3, Verse #134)

:: Spouse Selection: Do's and Don'ts Pt 1 ::

By Ama F. Shabazz
Source: Facebook group Understanding the Verses of the Holy Quran

It is narrated by Anas that the Messenger of Allah said, "When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half."

Indeed, if it accounts for completion of half of one's religious duties, the institution of marriage is extremely important in Islam. Marriage is the ideal way to channel the libido, thus protecting the individual and the society form many evils such as adultery, homosexuality, promiscuity, etc.

This is verified by the sahih collections of Bukhari and Muslim. Both works quoted Rasulullah as saying:

"Young men, those of you who can support a wife should marry. It keeps you from looking at strange women and preserves you from immorality; but those who cannot, should devote themselves to fasting, for it is a means of suppressing sexual desire."

However, in Islam, marriage should be much more than simply a means of achieving physical gratification. An Islamic marriage, in fact, is the key to establishing family life in order to build a healthy society. Allah, tells us through the Qur'an that:

And Among His signs is tHis, that He created for you wives from Among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.  
( سورة الروم , Ar-Room, Chapter #30, Verse #21)

Such a deep and beautiful relationship is not likely to occur among men and women who marry in a hasty, random, or haphazard manner. There is an abundance of evidence to indicate that sparks of passion or initial physical attraction alone will not suffice for a lasting marital relationship. Likewise, marriages that were arranged by well-intending parents who did not fully investigate essential character and compatibility issues, may result in disasters.

Instead, the process of finding a suitable, compatible spouse must be done with deliberation, patience, while seeking Allah's Guidance. In order to select the best mates, we should turn to Qur'an and Sunnah for advice.

First of all, we need to find out what qualities to look for in a life partner. In one ayah (Qur'anic verse) about spouses, Allah tells us,

"...They are a garment for you and you are a garment to them..."
(  سورة البقرة  , Al-Baqara, Chapter #2, Verse #187)

This metaphor shows the close bond and the special importance of the relationship between spouses. If we consider that a garment is the closest thing to our own bodies, offers protection, shields from shame, and gives comfort, we may begin to understand the Islamic role of husband and wife for one another.

If we likewise look at another ayah that mentions garments, we find the Qur'an describes the ideal garment:

"The best garment is the garment of taqwa (God-consciousness)."
Qur'an [7:26]

Thus, we may deduce that the best quality to look for in a prospective husband or wife is this taqwah, awareness that Allah is hearing, watching, and knowing our every deed, word, and thought. For it is this awareness that helps a believer develop self-restraint and resist the urging of Shaytan (Satan).

Sometimes we forget that a Muslim husband and wife regardless of the status of their marriage, will continuously have obligations to one another as fellow Muslims.

The believers, men and women, are Auliya' (helpers, supporters, friends, protectors) of one another; they enjoin (on the people) Al-Ma'ruf (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do), and forbid (people) from Al-Munkar (i.e. polytheism and disbelief of all kinds, and all that Islam has forbidden); they perform As-Salat (Iqamat-as-Salat), and give the Zakat, and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah will have His Mercy on them. Surely Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise.
( سورة التوبة , At-Taubah, Chapter #9, Verse #71)

Allah has promised the believers - men and women, - Gardens under which rivers flow to dwell therein forever, and beautiful mansions in Gardens of 'Adn (Eden Paradise). But the greatest bliss is the Good Pleasure of Allah. That is the supreme success.
( سورة التوبة , At-Taubah, Chapter #9, Verse #72) 

The above ayat also remind us that our ultimate goal, as believers is not just to find happiness in an earthly marriage, but to seek to earn and share the rewards of paradise together throughout eternity. This promise is confirmed in Suratul Ya-Sin.

Verily the Companions of the Garden shall that Day have joy in all that they do; They and their associates will be in groves of (cool) shade, reclining on Thrones (of dignity);
( سورة يس , Ya Seen, Chapter #36, Verse #55-56)

Saturday, 25 September 2010

:: Us and Them ::

By: Masood

Out of the oceans of their virtues, my pen's ink only drops a few.
Only a fleeting glimpse of the Sahabah's greatness is in this poem to view.

Abbaad bin Bishr was getting shot with arrows,
yet he still didn't want to break his salat.
Who are we compared to him?
We complain when the room we pray in is a little hot.

Our Masaajid are empty,
even though we drive fancy Cadillacs.
The Sahabah went to the Masjid for every prayer,
even though many had no cloths on their backs.

The Kuffar put massive rocks on Bilal's chest in the burning dessert sun,
All he said was "Ahad, Ahad" and from Islam he did not run.

They strove in the path of Allah,
doing Jihad even in the fierce dessert heat.
Who are we compared to them?
We can hardly make it to the Masjid right down the street!

Sumayyah loved Allah and for that the kuffar speared her most private part.
She was the first shaheed of our ummah,
to the end she had true love of Allah in her heart.

Who are we next to Sumayyah?
We hide our faith in fear of being teased.
We get a little laugh from a kaffer,
and we turn away from Allah displeased.

Khabbab bin Alarat was burnt on hot coals until his blood put out the heat.
How ashamed should we be?
While listening to a khutbah,
we find it hard to just stay on our seats.

Most of them were starving,
but this didn't keep them away from any part of the deen.
We have tons of rice and lamb,
but nonetheless, in us, Islam can hardly be seen.

Mus'ab Ibn Umair's hands were both severedwhen he was the flag bearer,
yet with his bloody forearms,he still kept the flag up high.
Yet how is our condition?
We can barely even give dawwah because we feel too shy!

If even the breeze grew a little stronger,
they would go to the Masjid fearing that it may be the last day.
Do we even notice what's going on around us,
or are we too busy thinking of our weekly pay?

Abu Bakr gave all of his wealth for Allah in His path.
Though if we were asked to do this, we would probably laugh.

Out of their fear of Allah,
they had tear stains on their cheeks.
Out of our love of the dunyah,
we stay away from the Masjid and go shopping in the boutiques.

After being captured in Jihad,
Ibn Hudhafah was glad that he might be boiled alive.
Yet what about us?
For Allah, many just frown when they are asked to strive.

This noble man cried in pleasure that he might be boiled alive for Allah!
Next to him we seem like hypocrites, or worse,
many of us don't even do our salah!

Even when Umar was khalifah,
his clothes still had many tears.
Yet when we have even the littlest job,
we end up with many clothes that we don't even wear.

They established the empire of Islam,
they spread the deen throughout all the lands.
Yet when it comes to us,
we have trouble obeying the simplest of Allah's commands.

Aisha was thirsty for knowledge,
she was one of our greatest scholars.
She was busy searching for wisdom,
yet we're busy searching for dollars

With it's last drops of ink,
this poem is coming to an end.
But before I let you go,
there is one thing that I do recommend:

We can sit around and talk,
we can reminisce about them with much ease.
But unless we actually try to be like the Sahabah,
our words just drift away with the breeze.

:: Roses For Rose ::

By: Poppy

Red roses were her favorites, her name was also Rose.
And every year her husband sent them, tied with pretty bows.
The year he died,the roses were delivered to her door.
The card said, "Be my Valentine," like all the years before.

Each year he sent her roses, and the note would always say,
"I love you even more this year, than last year on this day."
"My love for you will always grow, with every passing year."
She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear.

She thought, he ordered roses in advance before this day.
Her loving husband did not know, that he would pass away.
He always liked to do things early, way before the time.
Then, if he got too busy, everything would work out fine.

She trimmed the stems, and placed them in a very special vase.
Then, sat the vase beside the portrait of his smiling face.
She would sit for hours, in her husband's favorite chair.
While staring at his picture, and the roses sitting there.

A year went by, and it was hard to live without her mate.
With loneliness and solitude, that had become her fate.
Then, the very hour, as on Valentines before,
The doorbell rang, and there were roses, sitting by her door.

She brought the roses in, and then just looked at them in shock.
Then, went to get the telephone, to call the florist shop.
The owner answered, and she asked him, if he would explain,
Why would someone do this to her, causing her such pain?

"I know your husband passed away, more than a year ago,"
The owner said, "I knew you'd call, and you would want to know."
"The flowers you received today, were paid for in advance."
"Your husband always planned ahead, he left nothing to chance."

"There is a standing order, that I have on file down here,
And he has paid, well in advance, you'll get them every year.
There also is another thing, that I think you should know,
He wrote a special little card...he did this years ago."

"Then, should ever, I find out that he's no longer here,
That's the card...that should be sent, to you the following year."
She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard.
Her fingers shaking, as she slowly reached to get the card.

Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note.
Then, as she stared in total silence, this is what he wrote...
"Hello my love, I know it's been a year since I've been gone,
I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome."

"I know it must be lonely, and the pain is very real.
For if it was the other way, I know how I would feel.
The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life.
I loved you more than words can say, you were the perfect wife."

"You were my friend and lover, you fulfilled my every need.
I know it's only been a year, but please try not to grieve.
I want you to be happy, even when you shed your tears.
That is why the roses will be sent to you for years."

"When you get these roses, think of all the happiness,
That we had together, and how both of us were blessed.
I have always loved you and I know I always will.
But, my love, you must go on, you have some living still."

"Please...try to find happiness, while living out your days.
I know it is not easy, but I hope you find some ways.
The roses will come every year, and they will only stop,
When your door's not answered, when the florist stops to knock."

"He will come five times that day, in case you have gone out.
But after his last visit, he will know without a doubt,
To take the roses to the place, where I've instructed him,
And place the roses where we are, together once again."

Friday, 24 September 2010

Thursday, 23 September 2010

:: Story of Abu Al-Yazeed and the pope ::

:: Wedding of Jowaibir & Zalfa ::


"How beautiful it were if you could marry and establish a family, ending this forlorn and isolated life? You could fulfill your natural urges and also she could help you in your temporal and spiritual needs and goals."

"O Messenger of Allah, I have neither wealth nor beauty; nor I have a noble descent or lineage. Who will marry me? And which woman likes to be wife of a poor, short, black and ugly man like me?"

"O Jowaibir! God has changed the individual's worth through Islam. Many people were high-placed in the pre-Islamic society and Islam brought them down. Many were despised non-entities and Islam bestowed them with honor and high rank and brought them up. Islam abolished the un-Islamic discrimination and pride of lineage. Now all people irrespective of their color and origin are equal. Nobody has superiority over others but through piety and obedience to Allah. Among the Muslims, only that person would be higher than YOU whose virtues and deeds are better than you. Now do as I tell you."

These words were exchanged one day between the Prophet Muhammad (saw) and Jowaibir when the Prophet Muhammad (saw) came to see the Companions of the Suffa (Ashab al-Suffa).

Jowaibir was a native of "Yamamah" where he came to know about the Prophet Muhammad (saw) and the advent of Islam. He was poor, black and short, but at the same time intelligent truth seeking and a man of determination. He came to Medina to look at Islam from near; in a short time he embraced Islam. Since he had neither money, house nor any friends, he temporarily was accommodated along with other poor Muslims in the Mosque by permission of the Prophet Muhammad (saw). When it was revealed unto the Prophet Muhammad (saw) that the Mosque was not a place of habitation, it became necessary to shift them elsewhere. The Prophet Muhammad (saw) selected a site outside the Mosque and erected a shed for them. The place was named as "Suffa" and the residents were known as "Ashab al-Suffa" - all of them poor from places far away from Medina.

The Prophet Muhammad (saw) came to visit them one day. Noticing Jowaibir among them he decided to bring him out of this forlorn life. It was beyond the fancy of Jowaibir to own a house and have a wife in his condition. And that was why he replied to the Prophet Muhammad (saw) as to how it was possible for anyone to accept him in matrimony when the Prophet Muhammad (saw) advised him to marry. But the Prophet Muhammad (saw) removing his doubts explained to him the changes brought about in the social outlook of the people by Islam.

After bringing Jowaibir out of his inferiority complex, he directed him to the house of Ziad ibn Lubaid to request him for his daughter's hand in marriage.

Ziad ibn Lubaid was one of the wealthiest persons of Medina and commanded high respect among his tribes. When Jowaibir entered his house, he was surrounded by his relatives and some of his tribes-men. Jowaibir took a seat, paused for a moment and then raising his head said, "I have brought a message from the Prophet Muhammad (saw). Do you like to hear it confidentially or openly?"

Ziad ibn Lubaid: "A message from the Prophet Muhammad (saw) is an honour to me, better you tell it openly."

"The Prophet Muhammad (saw) has sent me to request you for your daughter for myself".

Ziad ibn Lubaid asked: "Did he himself make this suggestion to you?"

Jowaibir replied: "I don't speak on my own accord. Everybody knows me, I am not a liar"

Ziad ibn Lubaid said: "Strange! We don't give our daughters to persons of unequal status nor outside our tribe. You go back I shall go to the Prophet Muhammad (saw) and have a talk with him myself."

Jowaibir left the house murmuring, "By Allah (SWT), whatever the Noble Qur'an teaches and whatever is the purpose of the prophethood of Muhammad (saw) is totally against what Ziad ibn Lubaid says."

Those nearby heard the murmurings of Jowaibir. Zalfa, the lovely daughter of Ziad ibn Lubaid, and the beauty queen of Medina, heard these words of Jowaibir. She came to her father and asked: "Father, what was that man who just went out saying? And what did he mean?"

Ziad ibn Lubaid said: "He had come to ask for your hand in marriage and was claiming that the Prophet Muhammad (saw) had sent him for this purpose".

"Isn't it possible that the Prophet Muhammad (saw) had really sent him, and thus your rejection may amount to disobedience of the Prophet Muhammad's (saw) order?"

Ziad ibn Lubaid asked: "What do you feel about it?"

Zalfa said: "I feel you should bring him back before he reaches to the Prophet Muhammad (saw), and then go yourself to find out the truth."

Ziad ibn Lubaid brought Jowaibir back to his house with due respect, and then himself hurried up to the Prophet Muhammad (saw). When he saw him he said:

"O Messenger of Allah, Jowaibir came to my house and brought such and such a message from you, I would like to inform you that our custom is to give our daughters to persons of equal status and belonging to our tribe, who are all your helpers and companions."

The Prophet Muhammad (saw) said: "O Ziad, Jowaibir is a faithful man. That dignity and honor which you are talking about has now been abrogated. Every believer man is equal (for marriage purpose) to every believer woman."

Ziad ibn Lubaid returned to his house and explained the matter to his daughter, Zalfa. She said, "Please do not reject the proposal put by the Prophet Muhammad (saw). This matter concerns me. I accept Jowaibir whatever his condition may be. If the Prophet Muhammad (saw) is pleased with it, I am also pleased."

The wedding was duly solemnized; Ziad ibn Lubaid paid "Mahr" (dowry) from his own wealth and offered good articles to the newly married. They asked the bridegroom, "Have you got a house where to take the bride?" Jowaibir said, "No, I had never thought that I would get a wife and settle in domestic life. It was the Prophet Muhammad (saw) who came suddenly and had a talk with me and sent me to Ziad ibn Lubaid's house".

Ziad ibn Lubaid arranged for him a house equipped with complete household equipments, and transferred the bride superbly adorned with ornaments and perfumes.

Night came. Jowaibir did not know where the house was meant for him. He was guided to the house and led to the bridal-chamber. When he saw the house and its equipments and looked at the dazzling bride, his past came to his mind and he said to himself, "How poor I was when I entered this city. I had nothing - neither money nor beauty, neither any lineage nor family - now Allah (SAW) made these affluences available to me through Islam. Indeed it is Islam that has brought such changes in the social outlook of the people beyond any imagination. How grateful I am to Allah (SAW) for bestowing upon me all these Blessings!"

In spiritual ecstasy he went to a corner of the room; spent the night in recitation of the Noble Qur'an and prayer. It was dawn when he came to himself and then decided to fast in gratitude to Allah (SAW).

When women came to see bride Zalfa in the morning they found her untouched. They kept the matter secret from Ziad ibn Lubaid. Two nights and days passed in the same manner. Jowaibir was fasting during days and praying during nights. The women of the family of the bride were worried. They thought perhaps Jowaibir was impotent and had no need for a woman. At last, they put the matter before Ziad ibn Lubaid. He informed the Prophet Muhammad (saw).

The Prophet Muhammad (saw); called Jowaibir and asked, "Don't you have any desire for woman?"

Jowaibir replied: "Incidentally, I have very intense desire of that kind".

The Prophet Muhammad (saw) said; "Then why didn't you go near your bride?"

"O Messenger of Allah, when I entered the house I found myself amidst that affluence. A state of gratitude and devotion took me over. I thought it necessary to offer thanks and prayers to Allah (SWT) before doing anything. Tonight I shall go near my wife."

Jowaibir and Zalfa lived a most happy life. When the call for a Jihad (Holy war) came, he participated in it with the enthusiasm typical of a brave Muslim, and achieved martyrdom under the banner of Islam. After his martyrdom, Zalfa was the most sought after woman for a wife and people were eager to pay the greatest Mahr for her.

Wednesday, 22 September 2010

Sunday, 19 September 2010

:: Save The Children's emergency relief efforts in Pakistan ::

Song Name: “Hear Your Call”

Written and Produced: Sami Yusuf
Urdu Lyrics: “Mehboob”
Published: Resonance Music
Copyright of ETM International

Don’t despair, don’t lose hope
Hold on to that rope
Don’t let go, don’t let go
I hear your call

Though you feel so cold
Abandoned and alone
But don’t let go, don’t let go
I hear your call

Give me your hand my brother
I will not let you go

Please don’t look back my sister
I swear I hear you call

Give me your hand my brother
I will not let you fall

Please don’t look back my sister
Cause I swear I hear your call

Little boy ask away
“Where are the streets I used play to?”
But don’t let go, don’t let go
I hear your call

Don’t you know we’re One
When you hurt I hurt
Don’t let go, don’t let go
I hear your call


(Do not lose hope)

(Hold my hand)

(Do not consider yourself alone)

(We are a family)

Give me your hand my brother
I will not let you fall

So don’t look back my sister
Cause I swear I hear your call

Hear Sami Yusuf's latest charity single 'Hear Your Call' and please donate to the cause. All profits will go towards Save The Children's emergency relief efforts in Pakistan.