Tuesday, 21 December 2010

:: Towards Solving the Marriage Dilemma ::

Assalam Alaikum,

Sh. Alaa Elsayed is funny! hahaha~ He has a lot of expressions to go with his speech! =D

Marriage sounds so complicated in our society... Why can't we do it like during Prophet's time?

Anyway, he gave suggestions at the end of his speech [31:53] on the procedure of getting someone for marriage~ Good for those who are looking! hee~ =)

Khadijah C.

:: 'what Allah, then so and so, willed' ::

by Lives of the Salaf on Tuesday, 21 December 2010 at 00:49

It is forbidden to say the following expressions:
Had it not been for Allah and you!, I have no one but Allah and you!, I begin in the name of Allah and your name! etc.

Narrated Hudhayfah: The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: do not say: "what Allah wills and so and so wills," but say: "what Allah wills and afterwards so and so wills. (Sunan Abudawud Book #41, Hadith #4962)

Scholars say: it is permissible to say, "Had it not been for Allah then so and so". But, "Had it not been for Allah and so and so", is not permissible to be said.

What is the difference between "and" and "then" in these expressions?

The conjunction "and" suggests comparison and equality. So, one who says: "What Allah and you willed", compares the Will of Allah and the will of the slave, and puts them on equal terms.

Whereas, he conjunction "then" suggests subordination and following. So, one who says: "What Allah then you willed" , he declares that the will of the slave is subordinate to and follow the Will of Allah Almighty. Almighty Allah says in His Glorious Qur'an,

But ye will not, except as Allah wills; for Allah is full of Knowledge and Wisdom.
( سورة الإنسان , Al-Insan, Chapter #76, Verse #30)

Khadijah C.

Monday, 20 December 2010

:: Pray For What's Best ::

Assalam Alaikum,

I couldn't agree more with Sis. Lisa! Pray for what's best for us, for this life and the next! =D

Khadijah C.

:: Simple marriage ::

Assalam Alaikum,

hehehehe~ I love the way they talk about marriage! SoOooo innocently cute!

In children's term, marriage is all about kiss and hugs... And according to Grover, married couples are friends who live with each other and helping each other!

In summary, marriage is when two friends come together to live together, to help each other and kiss and hugs! hee~ That's what simple marriage is about! 

Simple... If the suitable other half is given and efforts are put in~ =)

Khadijah C.

Sunday, 19 December 2010

:: Love and Appreciation ::

Assalam Alaikum,

Okay okay, I get it... Gotta show appreciation appreciation for husband and love for wife! I shall keep it in mind! InsyahAllah! =D

BaBaAli is as great as ever! =)

Khadijah C.

Thursday, 16 December 2010

:: Answers from Imam of Prophet's Masjid ::

Assalam Alaikum,

Muhammad Alshareef was sharing the answers he got from the Imam of Prophet's Mosque on the 2 questions he asked:

1) What should the youths who memorise the whole Qur'an do?
2) How does the Prophet's grave looks like?

He sounds like an eager boy, excited to share the replies he got! 

Khadijah C.

Wednesday, 15 December 2010

:: Being in good health ::

Assalam Alaikum,

To see Sh. Ibrahim Dremali giving little lecture in his state of health makes me ponder seriously about what I have now... Good Health~

What have we done today with our good health? hmMmmm...

Khadijah C.

:: It's A'shura ::

Assalam Alaikum,

It's gotta be 10th of Muharram, 'Ashura, tomorrow! Another opportunity to collect good points and hopefully sins of the preceding year will be atoned~

Narrated Ibn 'Abbas: The Prophet came to Medina and saw the Jews fasting on the day of ashura. He asked them about that. They replied, "This is a good day, the day on which Allah rescued Bani Israel from their enemy. So, Moses fasted this day." The Prophet said, "We have more claim over Moses than you." So, the Prophet fasted on that day and ordered (the Muslims) to fast (on that day). (Sahih Bukhari Book #31, Hadith #222)

Narrated 'Aisha: The people used to fast on 'ashura (the tenth day of the month of Muharram) before the fasting of Ramadan was made obligatory. And on that day the Ka'ba used to be covered with a cover. When Allah made the fasting of the month of Ramadan compulsory, Allah's Apostle said, "Whoever wishes to fast (on the day of 'ashura') may do so; and whoever wishes to leave it can do so." (Sahih Bukhari Book #26, Hadith #662)

...he (the Messenger of Allah) said: The observance of three days' fast every Month and that of Ramadan every year is a perpetual fasting. I seek from Allah that fasting on the day of 'Arafa may atone for the sins of the preceding and the coming years. and I seek from Allah that fasting on the day of ashura may atone for the sins of the preceding year. (Sahih Muslim Book #006, Hadith #2602)

Khadijah C.

Tuesday, 14 December 2010

:: Owh so Muslim! ::

Assalam Alaikum,

I wanna share this website, Owh So Muslim!, with everyone!
Lovely reminders with cute cartoon drawings! =)
Especially good for children~
Just an example here... CuUutTtteEeee...

Khadijah C.

:: Sorcerer's Plot ::

Assalam Alaikum,

This video shows the works of the sorcerer, what they do, how they do and what they use...

I recommend you to watch this... There are things used which are familiar~ And as I continued watching, I have a mixed feeling of happiness and fear~ Happiness in getting the precious guidance from Allah(SWT) and fear for those who are not getting this guidance from Him~

Something came into my mind too...

As stated in the Ayats, we human are loss except those following what Allah(SWT) has commanded us~ And indeed, we are the fortunate ones...

You know, there are people who are loss and does not know about the beauty of Islam, so they do not have anywhere to look for help and that's when they are lured by Shaytan~ If only they have Islam as a comparison to their 'religion', (May Allah(SWT) gives them mercy and guides them), they would be regretting following the devils...

Indeed, we are blessed to be muslim...

By Al-'Asr (the time).
Verily, man is in loss,
Except those who believe (in Islamic Monotheism) and do righteous good deeds, and recommend one another to the truth [i.e. order one another to perform all kinds of good deeds (Al-Ma'ruf) which Allah has ordained, and abstain from all kinds of sins and evil deeds (Al-Munkar which Allah has forbidden], and recommend one another to patience (for the sufferings, harms, and injuries which one may encounter in Allah's Cause during preaching His religion of Islamic Monotheism or Jihad).
( سورة العصر , Al-Asr, Chapter #103, Verse #1-3)

Khadijah C.

:: Angels attacking the Jinns ::

Assalam Alaikum,

There's a meteor display for two days, Galloway Forest Dark Sky Park on Geminid meteor watch, and just as I remembered reading something about meteors in Hadith before, I've decided to search it out and taRah! Here it is... =) 

'Abdullah. Ibn 'Abbas reported: A person from the Ansar who was amongst the Companions of Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) reported to me:

As we were sitting during the night with Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him), a meteor shot gave a dazzling light. Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: What did you say in the pre-Islamic days when there was such a shot (of meteor)?

They said: Allah and His Messenger know best (the actual position), but we, however, used to say that that very night a great man had been born and a great man had died,

whereupon Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: (These meteors) are shot neither at the death of anyone nor on the birth of anyone. Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, issues Command when He decides to do a thing.

Then (the Angels) supporting the Throne sing His glory, then sing the dwellers of heaven who are near to them until this glory of God reaches them who are in the heaven of this world. Then those who are near the supporters of the Throne ask these supporters of the Throne: What your Lord has said? And they accordingly inform them what He says. Then the dwellers of heaven seek information from them until this information reaches the heaven of the world.

In this process of transmission (the jinn snatches) what he manages to overhear and he carries it to his friends. And when the Angels see the jinn they attack them with meteors. If they narrate only which they manage to snatch that is correct but they alloy it with lies and make additions to it. (Sahih Muslim Book #026, Hadith #5538)

So, now you know what is happening when the meteor comes! Should just look at them and imagine those angels chasing after the Jinns! hee~ It's a smiling thought to think about! =)

Khadijah C.

Sunday, 12 December 2010

:: he who has Allah(SWT), has everything ::

Assalam Alaikum,

This is a very good lecture on how we look at the tests in our lives~
Are we tested on our wealth?
Are we tested on our calamities? 

I like the way he took us on the 'driving test' (07:25) to see how we react to the qadar of Allah(SWT)... He has a very good way of relating the test and makes you feel it INSTANTLY! 

In summary, this is the gist of the test...

1) Imagine you are driving the car all by ourselves.
2) Time to park! So...
3) We get into the lot, checked and there's nothing in front or behind the car
4) While adjusting, you realised you hit something.
5) What is your reaction? What will you say?

Imagine, if Allah(SWT) decided to take your life away at that moment... You'll leave this Duniya with that last word of yours... Ouch!

So, what would you say? 

I would say, "Oh man!"

But I guess I gotta change now...  
"Inna Lillaahi wa inna ilayhi raaji’oon (Verily to Allah we belong and unto Him is our return)"

And he also shared a very inspiring story, "It's not how we live our lives in this world, but all about how we will be raised in front of Allah(SWT)... Whatever we die upon, is how we shall be raised upon...So, let our last deeds be our best one"

A very nice lecture as a reminder on our perspective in our lives... =)


Khadijah C.

Saturday, 11 December 2010

:: Returning to Allah(SWT) ::

Assalam Alaikum,

Nouman Ali Khan's videos always inspire me to learn Arabic so that I can appreciate what Allah(SWT) has for me! He always 'dissect' the words in the ayats, which brings more meaning to the message of Allah(SWT).. 

Anyway, he's talking about the below aya in this video~

Say: "O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah. for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. 
(  سورة الزمر  , Az-Zumar, Chapter #39, Verse #53)

Wednesday, 8 December 2010

:: European Scientist converts to Islam ::

Assalam Alaikum,


When we believe wholeheartedly, we wouldn't ever want to be a disbeliever again~
Never ever... =)

Khadijah C.

Monday, 6 December 2010

:: Salam Maal Hijrah ::

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

All praises be to Allah, Lord of all Universe. Praises be to Prophet Muhammad saw, his family and his companions.

Oh Allah, we raise our hands to You during the day and night and we seek the generosity of Your Bountiful wealth through your beautiful names and at this time when we are deep in love for You and all love that projects Your Greatness.

Oh Allah. The New Year is near as you how you had planned it be as qada and qadar in Loh Mahfuz. As your creation who constantly seeks your blessings. The coming of the New Year has given us yet another opportunity to raise our hands in prayer asking for Your Mercy. We seek only from You. We seek your continued guidance and knowledge just like how you have guided us throughout our life time. 

You have perfected our life and livelihood with your bountiful provisions. Please make us, our hearts as well as our physique strong just like how you have given strength to those whom you have chosen. Through this strength, we hope it be guard us against ill doings be it physically or spiritually. 

Oh Allah Al Mighty, we implore to your to grant us intellectual strength, peace, strength in our confidence, steadfastness in upholding our religion and goodness for ourselves and those amongst us.

Oh Allah, please protect us from anything that troubles us, thoughts that confuses us, experience that saddens us and narrows our hearts. Please safeguard us from all ill doings, harm and confusion. Oh Allah, we seek your Bounty to give what we have sought for, 

Oh Allah, Lord of those who gives assistance, please help us. Oh Protector of all harm, please protect us from harm and turmoil. Most Gracious, Most Merciful, please open this New Year with success, peace for us and all Muslim brothers who are working in your Cause. Please make the coming years with beautiful experience so that we can taste the nikmat in living. Let us be the happiest people with You. 

Oh Allah, please forgive us for all our wrongdoings and please accept our good deeds. Please bless our our actions and how we spend our time.

Peace and blessings to Prophet Muhammad saw.

Saturday, 4 December 2010

Friday, 3 December 2010

:: Signs from Pompeii Town ::

Presented by National Museum of Singapore, and organised by Melbourne Museum and Soprintendenza Speciale per i beni Archeologici di Napoli e Pompei

Venue Exhibition Galleries 1 & 2, Basement
Date SAT 16 OCT 2010 - SUN 23 JAN 2011 | 10:00 am 6:00 pm
For more information visit National Museum of Singapore

Assalam Alaikum,

My tutor came back from Singapore and he said that this exhibition is worth going for! I decided to google the story behind this city and, indeed, Allah(SWT) makes his Ayat clear to us so that we may be guided...

And hold fast, all of you together, to the Rope of Allah (i.e. this Qur'an), and be not divided among yourselves , and remember Allah's Favour on you, for you were enemies one to another but He joined your hearts together, so that, by His Grace, you became brethren (in Islamic Faith), and you were on the brink of a pit of Fire, and He saved you from it. Thus Allah makes His Ayat (proofs, evidence, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.,) clear to you, that you may be guided.
( سورة آل عمران , Aal-e-Imran, Chapter #3, Verse #103)

So, the story of Pompeii... hmMmm... Similar to the story of Prophet Lut...

And We turned (the cities) upside down, and rained down on them brimstones hard as baked clay. Surely! In this are signs for those who see (or understand or learn the lessons from the Signs of Allah).
( سورة الحجر , Al-Hijr, Chapter #15, Verse #74-75)

In 79CE, the cosmopolitan city of Pompeii and much of its surrounding area were buried under volcanic ash and pumice following the eruption of Mount Vesuvius in southern Italy. It was not until the mid-18th century that this city was slowly revealed to the world through archaeological excavations...

Khadijah C.

:: The Chef Yusuf Show ::

Assalam Alaikum,

Just happen to stumble upon this site, The Chef Yusuf Show~
I like the way he explains about almost everything in the process of cooking! From how to use the knife, to hadiths about food, to cooking food! =)

Just something for a person who's clueless about the art of cooking! Like me! haa~ =D

Khadijah C.

Tuesday, 30 November 2010

:: Reading the red flag Pt 2 ::

Red Flag 5 : Lack of consistency
The adage “actions speak louder than words” cannot be truer than when observing the behavior of a potential spouse. Lack of consistency between what a person says and does is a red flag that the individual cannot be trusted and/or that there are major character flaws. In addition, if your potential spouse says and does things that do not reflect your own values, this is a wake up call that you may not be compatible. Any pattern of dishonesty, rationalizing questionable behavior, or twisting words to his or her benefit is a red flag that the individual has difficulty with personal responsibility and needs time and support to mature emotionally.

Red Flag 6 : Overly dependent on family
Many times, problems in marriages arise because of in-laws and couples do not pay attention to the early predictors of these issues. A potential spouse that is overly dependent on parents for finances, decision-making and/or emotional security is someone who may not be ready to get married. A potential spouse who is in an overly dependent family relationship will have difficulty moving into an interdependent relationship with a spouse. While it is of course natural that both families remain connected to the new couple, the shift to emotional independence from the family is a growth process that is necessary so that the new couple can begin creating their own life together.

Red Flag 7 : Getting married out of fear
Trusting your intuition and addressing uneasy feelings that arise during the process of getting to know someone is important. Intuition is your compass and is alerting you that something may be wrong in the relationship with your potential spouse. One must find the courage to follow this intuition. To continue getting to know someone or proceed toward marriage with these uncertainties can be disastrous. 

Many choose to ignore the red flags out of a fear of hurting a persons feelings or what the family and community may say. Getting married out of a fear of letting others down or because of pressure from others are signs that the relationship is unstable and that is not a foundation for a healthy marriage. 

In order to be in a healthy marriage, individuals need to grow up and grow emotionally before they can be in a relationship with another individual. No one is perfect, but each individual has a responsibility to work on his or her own personal issues and flaws. As ibn Arabi says, “He who knows himself knows his Lord.” Self reflection is vital to help you understand yourself, your relationship with others, and ultimately help bring you closer to Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He).

:: Reading the red flag Pt 1 ::

Published on November 30, 2010
by Munira Lekovic Ezzeldine

Getting to know someone for marriage can be a nerve-racking and an exciting experience all at the same time. Through conversations, a couple seeks to learn about each other and determine compatibly for a lifetime together. 

However, many couples get so emotionally attached in the early stages of the relationship that they cannot see or choose to deny red flags that arise. Being self-reflective and in tune with your feelings is important in identifying potential problems in a relationship. Divorcees and married couples with significant problems always cite early signs or red-flags that they did not realize were important or did not know would have a major impact on the relationship. 

Red flags are signs that something is not sitting well with an individual and can become a source of conflict within the marriage. Not all problems before marriage are signs of a doomed relationship. Some issues that arise before marriage can be discussed and compromises can be made. 

Open communication and problem solving are foundational to a healthy, successful, and happy marriage. It must be said that there are some problems or red flags that indicate deeper personal issues that can only be addressed through individual or pre-marital counseling.

Communication before marriage is vital because it is the only way one can connect with a potential spouse and understand his or her viewpoints. Communication is not only about the ability to talk, it is also about the ability to listen. 

Red Flag 1 : Not understanding each other
Red flags in this area of the relationship are that you do not feel like your potential spouse understands you, nor seeks to understand what is important to you in your life. If your feelings are dismissed or you are constantly being cut off, then you may be considering someone for marriage who is not a good listener and is not in tune with the feelings of others. In addition, being criticized and/or spoken to sarcastically are signs of disrespect. This is a problem because mutual respect between spouses is the cornerstone of a successful marriage.

Red Flag 2 : Emotionally unavailable
On the other hand you may feel like thoughts and feelings are shared and heard, but your potential spouse does not share his or her own views and feelings. This may be an indication that your potential spouse is emotionally unavailable and not ready for the emotional attachment required in a marriage. A requirement for a successful marriage is that each spouse is emotionally ready to be vulnerable and intimate with another human being.

Red Flag 3 : Leaving conflicts unresolved
The way a couple communicates and resolves conflicts are important aspects to consider before marriage. If a couple is constantly arguing and leaves arguments unresolved, they face serious problems in a marital relationship. If you find yourself consciously avoiding certain topics out of a fear of your potential spouse’s reaction, then you are not being fully honest in the relationship. In order to be in an authentic marriage, each spouse must be able to be his or her true self and not shy away from discussing difficult topics.

Red Flag 4 : Extreme negative emotions
A potential spouse that expresses extreme emotions, such as uncontrollable anger, excessive fear, or irrational jealousy is a major concern because these could be signs of an abusive partner. A person that tries to control and manipulate another person’s behavior, such as how to dress, how to interact with family and friends, how to live, etc. all signify that this person desires power in the relationship. When getting to know one another, couples usually mistake this classic red flag as a sign of care and concern rather than a pattern toward an emotionally or even physically abusive relationship. 

A potential spouse who is unable to resolve conflicts, admit mistakes, or deal with constructive criticism is likely to be someone who is not able to take personal responsibility in their life. All of these personal issues are signs that the individual is in need of personal growth and change before attempting to have a healthy marital relationship.

Monday, 29 November 2010

:: Start now for our children ::

Assalam Alaikum,

Syed Ammar Nakshawani talks about how we should bring up our children, starting with having the niyah even before the mother is pregnant with a child~ And how a child learns, even when he/she is in the womb~ 

Further on, he said that when mothers recite Surah Yusuf, the baby will come out looking like Yusuf! So I assume that if the baby is a girl, then gotta recite Surah Maryam...

Wow! This is new! hee~ =D

So, I shall be a bit 'kiasu' (Typical Singaporean!) and start having the niyah now! hee~

Khadijah C.

:: My Choice - Roman Catholic to Muslim ::

Sunday, 28 November 2010

:: Dying Words of A Father pt 2 ::

When you hear hoofbeats think of a zebra
By: Shems Friedlander

My dear son, remember not to overload yourself, do not entrust yourself with so many obligations and duties that you cannot honourable fulfil them or burden yourself with a life so luxurious as to be wicked and vicious. 

Because of this load is more that you can conveniently bear, then your journey will be painful and toilsome. If you find around yourself poor, needy, and destitute people who are willing to carry your load as far as the Day of Judgement, then consider this to be a boon, engage them and pass your burden onto them. 

Distribute your wealth among the poor, destitute, and needy – help others to the best of your ability and be kind and sympathetic to human beings. Thus, relieve yourself of the heavy responsibility and liability of submitting an account on the Day of Reckoning of how you made use of His Favors of health, wealth, power, and position. Thus you may arrive at the end of your journey light and fresh, and may have enough provision for you there, reward for having done your duty to man and Allah in this world. Have as many weight carriers as you can and help as many people as you can, so that you may have them when you need them.

Remember all that you give out in charities and good deeds are like loans that will be paid back to you. Therefore when you are wealthy and powerful, make use of your wealth and power in such a way that you get all that back on the day when you will be poor and helpless: the Day of Judgement. 

Be it known to you, my son, that your passage lies through the dreadful valley of death, and the journey is extremely trying and arduous. Here a man with light weight is far better than an overburdened person, and one who can journey fast will pass through the valley more quickly than one whom encumberment forces to go slowly. 

You shall have to pass through this valley. The only way out of it is wither in Heaven or Hell: there is no other way out and no possibility of retracing your steps. Therefore, it is wise to send your things beforehand, so that your good actions arrive before you; prearrange the place of your stay before you reach it, because after death there is no repentance and no possibility of coming back to this world to undo the wrong done by you.

:: Dying Words of A Father ::

When you hear hoofbeats think of a zebra
By: Shems Friedlander

My dear son, carefully, very carefully, remember these sayings of mine, that the Lord, who is the Master of death, is also the Master of life. The Creator is the Annihilator. And the One who annihilates has the power to bring everything back to existence again. The One who sends you calamities is the One who will bring you safely out of them.

Remember that this world is working under laws ordained by Him, and it consists of the totality of actions and reactions, causes and effects, calamities and reverses, pains and pleasure, rewards and punishment; but this is not all that the picture depicts; there are things in it that are beyond our understanding, things that we do not and cannot know, and things that cannot be foreseen and foretold. For instance, the rewards and punishments of the Day of Judgement. Under these circumstances, if you do not understand a thing, do not refuse to accept it. Remember that your lack of understanding is due to the insufficiency of your knowledge.

Remember when you came into this world, your first appearance was that of an ignorant, uneducated, and unlearned being; then you gradually acquired knowledge. There were several things in this world that were beyond your knowledge, which perplexed and surprised you and about which you did not understand “why” and “how”; gradually you acquired knowledge about some of those subjects, and in the future your knowledge and vision may further expand. Therefore, the best thing for you to do is to seek guidance of the One Who has created you, Who maintains and nourishes you, Who has given you a balanced mind and a normally working body. Your prayers should be reserved for Him only, your requests and solicitations should be to Him, you should be afraid of Him and nobody else.

Saturday, 27 November 2010

:: Muslim marriage: a portrait ::

From Times Online
August 24, 2009

A true Muslim marriage is about husband and wife helping each other attain paradise says Na'ima B. Robert


My husband is ill. He lies in bed, in the dark. I try to keep the children quiet. I try to keep them from disturbing him. I try to get them to sleep without too much fuss.

When all is peace, I tiptoe into the room. I feel his forehead for signs of a fever. I ask him if he needs anything. He needs to drink fluids, Vitamin C. I know this. And I also know that he won't ask.

So I go to the kitchen, put the kettle on. I mix him a drink - lemon to fight the cold germs, honey to soothe his sore throat, fresh mint leaves to lift the taste a little. I say 'Bismillah' before I pour the hot water, make a little prayer for his well being, before taking it to him. He smiles through his discomfort. I have brought him ease.

But I wave away his thanks. It is nothing.

I am his wife. That's what I'm here to do.

Some may sneer at these small acts of kindness. Some may shake their heads pityingly at this description of servitude. But they don't understand my life or my motivations. They do not know, do not understand that I married my husband for the sake of Allah.

Our goal, from the outset of a marriage arranged by mutual friends, was to help each other to attain Paradise. Nothing more, nothing less.

We went about our marriage the traditional Islamic way. We didn't date, we didn't cohabit, we didn't spend any time alone. We met a few times, in the company of my guardian, asked each other innumerable questions, discussed every issue that was important to us. My husband flew halfway across the world to obtain my parents' consent and we were married, with a marriage contract and a mahr (dowry paid to the bride) but no pomp or ceremony, in a room in Baker Street.

To be sure, an Islamic marriage is quite different from that of other faiths or of no faith at all. There are roles and responsibilities to be taken care of, rules and guidelines to be followed. These rules are in place to promote a smoother partnership and a union that is pleasing to God. Many of these rules and guidelines may seem old-fashioned, restrictive even, particularly in an age of ever-evolving morals and mores. But as guidelines set down for us in the Qur'an, the Book of Allah, we trust in their wisdom and we live by their strictures.

These teachings help us set our priorities straight. They help us to tame our ego. They show us to how to give selflessly, expecting our reward from God alone. They teach us to be patient and gentle with each other. They teach us how to be loyal and faithful in word, thought and deed. They teach us to be grateful for the small mercies, for the little kindnesses, for the barely noticeable gestures that embroider our lives together. These are lessons we are learning every day. I know that one day, maybe tomorrow, maybe fifty years from now, I will return to my Lord and then, only my good deeds will count for anything. Only my selfless deeds, performed for the sake of God, will accompany me.

Of course, some may say that I am painting an overly rosy picture. They will quote stories they've heard, articles they have read, prejudices they have formed. All these could be true. Or they could not be. I can only speak my truth. I can only tell my story.

My husband's fever has broken. I smile and praise Allah.

It is nothing. That is what we are here to do.

Na'ima B. Robert is author of From my Sisters' Lips , a look at the lives of Muslim women. She is founder and editor of SISTERS , the magazine for fabulous Muslim women. Her latest children's book,Ramadan Moon, is published by Frances Lincoln

:: The Cracked Pot ::

Assalam Alaikum,

It's a sweet story, reminding us that each of us are like the 'cracked pot'... We have our own unique flaw, but it is the cracks that we have which make our lives together so much interesting and rewarding. 

We just gotta take each person, as a unique creation, for what they are and search for the postive in them~ =)

Khadijah C.

:: In a relationship ::

When you hear hoofbeats think of a zebra
By Shems Friedlander

Relationship is divided into four categories.

Private relationship
You have a private relationship, one perhaps when you are standing before Allah, or when you sit at the edge of your bed at night, just that moment before you lie down, and you remember Him. It’s a private relationship. Nobody knows about this.

Personal relationship
Then there is a personal relationship, one hat you have with people who are close to you. Wives, husbands, family.

Professional relationship
Then there is a professional relationship, one you have with those people you see in your daily work.

Sociological relationship
Some people have what could be termed a sociological relationship, a relationship with society in the sense that they don’t even know whom they are touching. For example, a radio personality. He doesn’t know if anyone is listening.

When I looked at all this in a relationship, I ask myself why? Since my private relationship with Allah is the most special in my life, why do I spend the least amount of time in that relationship? And although I may invite some people from my professional relationship into my personal one, or even on a rare occasion invite someone from my personal relationship into my private one, why is it that the relationship that is the most important is also the one I spend the least amount of time in? And the one that is the least important, this professional relationship, seems to take up all of my time. 

So when I think of my life and how I spend my time, I look at this breakdown. Perhaps I can take an inventory and see what are the things I can do in my life to adjust the situation. For if I really believe that the private relationship to Allah is the most important one, and ultimately it does affect all my other relationships, why can’t I find he time to be with it more? I’ll miss a prayer, but never miss lunch, I won’t may my tesbih one day, but I will make sure to have coffee every morning.

Then I look at myself, and I try to see who this person is whose heart goes out in a certain way but whose body and mind don’t always follow. Part of that is because the heart has not been perfected as yet. So when I realise that my heart has not been perfected, that it needs more work, then I try to see how I can accomplish this. 

Because I know – I know when I feel good and when I feel bad. I know that I feel good when I am in dhikr Allah. Every part of my body knows. And I know that I feel bad when I overeat, when I am angry or filled with tension. So I have examined this, and when I am certain as to what things make me feel good and alive and a part of this world, then I can start to take an inventory and see what can be discarded from my life so that I can make room for something else that I know and feel is better.

Allah said, “I have created man for myself, I have created the entire universe for man.” How can we appreciate this universe unless we begin to explore it? And between that point of birth and another that will surely come to each of us, our death, there is a period of time that is unique. No one knows how long this time will last. We call this life. I wonder if we have the right to call it life. Do we live that life? Do we explore that life? Only those who really live that life, truly in every moment, can call it life.

Friday, 26 November 2010

:: Knowing oneself, knowing Marriage ::

Assalam Alaikum,

One of the greatest mercy which Allah(SWT) show us is to give us acquaintances who make us think and ponder about our direction~

I want to share what a reader of mine wrote to me...

1.“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

2.““The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along.”

3.“That is what learning is. You suddenly understand something you've understood all your life, but in a new way.”

Inspiring sentences...

Many of us want to get married but do we really know who we are, what we are? What are the gifts that Allah(SWT) has given us in this duniya that can complement with the future spouse? What are the limitations which we have that we need someone to come into our life to make our lives complete?

hmMmmm... Maybe that explains why our future spouse is called "Our other half" or "Half our deen"... So, when we know ourselves well, we are ready for a love story... Our first and last love story... 

And when that person comes along, we would know he/she has been part of our lives because we are so familiar with what that person has, yet we are unable to achieve ourselves... 

That's when the learning starts... To learn about our other half, to learn about that which are lacking in us~ In the process, we will grow together and, InsyahAllah, be completed as a whole~

I guess that's what marriage is about... To find someone to complement us so that we grow from the trials in life... 

But before that, do we know ourselves well, in order to identify our other half? hmMmmm... Something to think about over the weekend~ 

Happy weekend! =)

Khadijah C.