Sunday, 28 February 2010

:: My happily ever after ending in Paradise ::

Assalam Alaikum,

I couldn't thank Allah (SWT) enough for opening my heart to Him!
He has made me see things better and to make me take challenges with more strength!

Human beings are scary creature~ For some, they would tell you that they will stay with you through high and low and being a goodie, kind person, you believe them... But when circumstances turn good/bad, they abandon you, claiming that situations have changed and they are happier! And, to make matter worst, they have no concept of fear in Allah (SWT) though their names indicate that they should be fearful of Him!

What is it? =S

Alright, I am just complaining here...

Just a little heartache why I was such a silly one before... But I believe, Allah(SWT) is going to give me a better man for me! That was what Allah(SWT) mentioned to Prophet Muhammad's wives...

"When the Prophet disclosed a matter in confidence to one of his consorts, and she then divulged it (to another), and Allah made it known to him, he confirmed part thereof and repudiated a part. Then when he told her thereof, she said, "Who told thee this? "He said, "He told me Who knows and is well-acquainted (with all things)."

If ye two turn in repentance to Him, your hearts are indeed so inclined; But if ye back up each other against him, truly Allah is his Protector, and Gabriel, and (every) righteous one among those who believe,- and furthermore, the angels - will back (him) up.

It may be, if he divorced you (all), that Allah will give him in exchange consorts better than you,- who submit (their wills), who believe, who are devout, who turn to Allah in repentance, who worship (in humility), who travel (for Faith) and fast,- previously married or virgins."
( سورة التحريم , At-Tahrim, Chapter #66, Verse #5)

Now that I know there's a place for me in the hereafter, I pray hard that Allah (SWT) will give me a goodie husband who is just like me... Just like me, once decided, will just stick to the end and the promise will not be broken...

Our story will just be like those in fairytales... "And they live happily ever after... In Paradise!" Yay!!!

For now, I just need to pray pray pray~ Pray for me, okay? =D

And give glad tidings to those who believe and do righteous good deeds, that for them will be Gardens under which rivers flow (paradise). Every time they will be provided with a fruit therefrom, they will say: "This is what we were provided with before," and they will be given things in resemblance (i.e. in the same form but different in taste) and they shall have therein Azwajun Mutahharatun (purified mates or wives) and they will abide therein forever.
( سورة البقرة , Al-Baqara, Chapter #2, Verse #25)

Khadijah C.

:: Maher Zain - Open Your Eyes ::

:: Your riches and your children may be but a trial ::

Assalam Alaikum!!! =D

Sometimes, it's just spooky to read the Qur'an when it starts telling you the direct answer to your questions in mind immediately!

I posted an article previously and I was wondering how can a person get married and convert and no belief in the religion... Then, after I did my Asr prayer and read the Qur'an, I came upon this...

So, it is a test for that woman who reverted back to her original religion... haizZzz...

"Allah. There is no god but He: and on Allah, therefore, let the Believers put their trust. O ye who believe! Truly, among your wives and your children are (some that are) enemies to yourselves: so beware of them! But if ye forgive and overlook, and cover up (their faults), verily Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. Your riches and your children may be but a trial: but in the Presence of Allah, is the highest, Reward. So fear Allah as much as ye can; listen and obey and spend in charity for the benefit of your own soul and those saved from the covetousness of their own souls,- they are the ones that achieve prosperity. If ye loan to Allah, a beautiful loan, He will double it to your (credit), and He will grant you Forgiveness: for Allah is most Ready to appreciate (service), Most Forbearing,- Knower of what is open, Exalted in Might, Full of Wisdom."
[At-Taghabun 13-18]

Khadijah C.

:: Chinese Muslim allowed to revert ::

Assalam Alaikum~

This is indeed an upsetting story... A story of misusing religion for the wrong cause~ Hope one day, both of them will realise their mistakes~ And maybe if she were to turn to Allah (SWT), she would be given a better husband~ Oh well, not everyone is soOooo much taken care of like me! hee~

"Is he whose breast Allah has opened to Islam, so that he is in light from His Lord (as he who is a non-Muslim)? So woe to those whose hearts are hardened against remembrance of Allah! They are in plain error! "
( سورة الزمر , Az-Zumar, Chapter #39, Verse #22)

Khadijah C.

Muslim allowed to revert
Siti Fatimah Tan Abdullah, a 39-year-old originally named Tan Ean Huang, said she had never practised Islamic teachings since she converted in 1998 and only did so to enable her to marry her Iranian husband.
Taken from:

PENANG (Malaysia) - A MALAYSIAN Islamic court on Monday upheld an unusual decision allowing an ethnic Chinese woman to revert to her Buddhist faith, saying her conversion to Islam had never been valid.

Apostasy, or renouncing the faith, is one of the gravest sins in Islam and a highly sensitive issue in Malaysia where Islamic sharia courts have rarely allowed people to abandon the religion.

Siti Fatimah Tan Abdullah, a 39-year-old originally named Tan Ean Huang, said she had never practised Islamic teachings since she converted in 1998 and only did so to enable her to marry her Iranian husband.

The couple married in 2004 and she filed for renunciation after her husband left her, winning approval from a religious court last year in a decision appealed by the Islamic Religious Council in Penang state.

Penang's Sharia Appeal Court on Monday said Ms Tan could revert to Buddhism, but only because her conversion was not valid and done only for the sake of marriage.

'She has been living a non-Islamic lifestyle and praying to deities and this clearly shows she never embraced Islam,' said Ibrahim Lembut, one of a three-member panel of judges.

'The question of conversion does not arise because she never intended to become a Muslim in the first place.' Ms Tan welcomed the decision. 'I am very happy that this is finally over. It has been a long struggle,' she told reporters outside the court.

The Penang Islamic Religious Council also endorsed the ruling, which it said confirmed the status quo in Malaysia, where religious courts operate in parallel to civil courts.

'The original decision gave the impression that one could simply convert out of Islam. So now it is clear this is not the case,' its lawyer Ahmad Munawar Abdul Aziz told reporters.

'In this case, the court has made it clear that this was a unique case where her conversion itself was invalid,' he added. 'So this removes the fear among the Muslim community that conversions may be subject to review.' Islam is Malaysia's official religion and more than 60 per cent of the nation's 27 million people are Muslim Malays.

The country is also home to large ethnic Chinese and Indian communities who have complained of growing 'Islamisation' that is undermining their rights. -- AFP

:: Prophet Muhammad's Communication Skills Part 2 ::

Can You Listen With Your Eyes?
Prophet Muhammad's Communication Skills (Part 2)

By Sahar El-Nadi
Consultant and Writer

Sometimes we find ourselves in situations where awkward silence is the name of the game. Find out how to turn around this silence into a meaningful way of communicating with others through the Prophet's example.

In ancient Arabia, eloquence meant status. Arabic is a language rich in shades and shadows, and people competed to weave words with exquisite elegance and beautiful rhythm, skillfully shaping words into works of verbal art.

This is when Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was born. Although he was never taught to read and write, he had more linguistic skills than anyone.

These skills enabled him to transmit difficult concepts clearly, to all levels of audience, and in just a few words.

His wise sayings are called 'Hadith' (literally means 'speech' in Arabic) and they are collected in books and taught as timeless guidance to people around the world.

Yet when learning Hadith today, more attention is paid to the study of the exact words of the Prophet Muhammad, while overlooking an important fact which has to do with his use of many non-verbal communication skills to enhance the meanings of the words.

He had an exceptional ability to engage more of our senses than just our ears - even while we hear what he said hundreds of years ago.

Painting Mental Pictures With Words

It is important to open up to the positive change the Prophet's words cause in hearts and minds.

When we read Hadith, we will notice that the words draw vivid pictures in our minds, with sights, sounds, smells, and feelings. At the same time, the narrators used descriptive words to give us a complete three-dimensional snapshot of each event.

In this way we could actually 'see' in our minds-eye the complete surrounding context, in addition to exactly what the Prophet did with the rest of his body while he spoke.

Instinctively, narrators used their special skill with words to share with us what they saw, heard, felt, imagined and understood - which is how they had actually learnt and changed.

There is a precious lesson for us here: When learning from a unique teacher with exceptional communication skills, his audience have to also be trained to use all their senses to receive meanings and learn lessons.

That is why their behavior was transformed in just a few years to build a brilliant civilization. Perhaps we too need to do the same today, It's not enough to mechanically memorize and recite his sayings. What's more important is to open up to the positive change the Prophet's words cause in hearts and minds, and to follow through with practice.

Non-Verbal Cues Blow Your Cover

Only 30% of the meaning is transmitted through words.

Communication is about delivering a message to the audience, with maximum accuracy and minimum confusion. Taking in to account the correct interpretation of their response, which reflects their perception of the meaning. These basics are essential for exchanging ideas and feelings with others effectively.

Modern research states that successful communicators possess the ability to engage all the senses of their audiences, through using two types of skills in accurate measure.

The first type is the verbal skills, or the spoken language in writing and speech. The second type is the non-verbal skills, which express the 'unspoken' context of the words to give them their true meaning, including facial expressions, body language, and vocal qualities such as volume, pitch and speed.

Ironically, successful delivery of a message relies more on non-verbal skills which transmit at least 70% of the meaning, while only 30% is transmitted through words.

Moreover, when the spoken and the unspoken messages contradict, the human brain is programmed to believe the non-verbal cues. For example: if someone says to us: "how nice to see you" but says so with sarcasm, we subconsciously receive the sarcasm and not the seemingly courteous greeting.

The Art of Eloquent Silence

There are training courses to teach us how to interpret people's unconscious gestures, and at the same time consciously send positive non-verbal signals to others to enhance mutual understanding and encourage effective communication.

The Prophet's posture was always straight and alert to reflect confidence and strength.

Being the exceptional communicator he was, the Prophet Muhammad paid special attention to sending clear and consistent non-verbal messages all the time, even while he was completely silent.

He knew that most of his tradition will be transmitted verbally, so he spoke concisely and clearly, repeated every important idea 3 times. But in parallel, he used very strong vocal and gesture cues consistent with his words to enhance people's memorization of what he said to be able to repeat it to others.

His posture was always straight and alert to reflect confidence and strength, he walked briskly to reflect purposefulness, yet his face was always relaxed and peaceful with a poised smile inviting contact and trust.

He gave people his full attention by turning towards them with his whole torso not just his head, which made them feel important and appreciated.

When he got angry, he simply looked away from the person or the event to indicate his disapproval without saying a word.

In a gathering, he sat anywhere not in the center indicating equality, and he always allowed direct contact indicating approachability.

He never looked anyone too long in the face, and used his full palm to point at people instead of pointing his finger to avoid embarrassing them.

Nonetheless, we find the Quran gently rectifying his non-verbal communication in a special situation, sending us a precious lesson:

Even Gestures Count

The Prophet was talking to a group of notable tribal leaders attempting to win them over, when a blind man, named Abdullah ibn Umm Maktoum, came to him with some questions.

Trying to focus all his attention on the potential allies, the Prophet frowned in concentration and looked away from Abdullah and towards his audience. The blind man couldn't see his frowning face or his annoyed body language, yet God blamed His Messenger for transmitting a negative non-verbal message.

[He frowned and turned away, Because there came to him the blind man. (`Abasa 80:1-2)

We can't transmit an emotion sincerely unless our body language is consistent with the words. Try it yourself: face a mirror and try to sound cheerful saying ‘good morning’ while your face is frowning. You can’t. If you don’t want to hear a frown in your voice, you must actually smile so that your voice would sound friendly.

Now, can you imagine how the Prophet’s voice would’ve sounded if he had spoken to his blind companion while he was frowning and turned away? The blind man would’ve certainly heard the annoyance in the Prophet’s voice, which would generate negative feelings, and create a barrier to effective communication with a sincere friend.

In addition, the group of leaders the Prophet was focused on were right there watching the interaction; if The Prophet had talked negatively to the blind man, this would have been an indirect negative message to them. This would have discouraged them from forming positive ideas about Islam, which would in result defeat the purpose of the whole communication process.

Because of the deep insights gained from this incident, the Prophet always smiled at that blind man saying, "Welcome to whom my Lord has blamed me" (Al-Qurtubi)

Later, the Prophet's wife Aisha while talking about another woman, pointed with her hand to indicate that she was too short. The Prophet told her, "You have said a word that if mixed with the water of the sea it would spoil it!" (Abu Dawud ) He called her simple gesture a 'word' and warned her it was so destructive that it could spoil a sea.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

A smile and an open posture are well understood 'words' in a universal code.

How often do we use facial expressions or gestures publicly in a sarcastic or mocking way, mindless of their destructive effects on our image and on our communication with others?

These stories teach us to mind our body language as much as our verbal language, above all because God is watching, also because others may evaluate us. and even our entire nations or cultures based on our public conduct.

At any given moment, imagine that someone may be evaluating how you talk to your spouse in a shopping mall, how you treat an elderly on the train, or what you do with your friends in the street.

If you want to be perceived as a nice person, do it all the time, with all your being, even when you think no one is looking. A smile and an open posture are well understood 'words' in a universal code.

So even if you don’t speak a word of someone’s language, remember that is only 30 percent of your tools, you still have much more to make sure they ‘listen’ to your friendly thoughts with their eyes.

The Prophet Muhammad was sent to a nation of brilliant orators, people whose main interest was words, yet he added a deeper dimension to eloquent words, which is eloquent silence, where refined actions do the talking.

Sahar Elnadi Holds a BA in ancient history and culture from Cairo University. Worked in many people-related careers in parallel, including presenting public events and TV programs; instructing training courses in communication, thinking skills and cross cultural issues.Long experience in the dynamics of multinational e-communities on the internet, with award winning online projects since 1998.

Saturday, 27 February 2010

:: Prophet Muhammad's Communication Skills Part 1::

Assalam Alaikum!!!

This is the updated post, with easier reading fonts than previous post. Content is the same, just that I did a nicer job in arrangement in this updated post! =D haa~ I am such a perfectionist!

Anyway, Allah(SWT) is surely guiding me with things I am reading~ Just one day when I am browsing the internet, this article caught my eye! Alhamdulliah!!! He is giving my knowledge! This is something which I need in preparing for breaking the news to my family that I am a muslim!

Yay!!! =) Just gotta read and understand and try to implement into my "plan"! yoOoohoOoo! Insha'Allah, hope my family will understand me! =)

Khadijah C.

We Are All in the Same Boat

By Sahar El-Nadi
Consultant and Writer

Communicating with others is a value that we need to use more often and Prophet Muhammad can be the example we need. 

The ability to communicate with one another is a precious gift God gave humans. It’s amazing to be able to turn our thoughts, feelings, and ideas into different codes we could transmit to others and receive feedback through our different senses; thus enabling us to learn, teach, and interact with others in our communities, as well as with the universe at large.

Through these same codes of communication, God would also communicate His presence and His messages to people -through special envoys- in order to guide them and lead them to safety until the end of their journey of life.

In every era of history, special individuals from among the people alive at that time were chosen to transmit His messages, those were the messengers of God, may peace be upon them all.

As Prophets, they need to be able to listen as effectively as they talk. Their role as communication mediators, concerned with delivering precise messages from The One God to their nations required exceptional communication skills: they had to be very eloquent in language and knowledgeable in local culture in order to deliver exceptional orations; physically attractive charismatic leaders to command respect and attention during their presentations.

They should be well-mannered to inspire listeners as live examples of their message; skilled at using emotional intelligence to choose their timing, content, and adjust their emotions according to each situation.

In addition to empathy, wisdom, and patience to be able to listen as effectively as they talk, and to see things from their audience’s perspective in order to offer appropriate solutions.

Mission Impossible

From among God’s messengers, Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, was chosen for a monumental task: to deliver God’s message to all mankind until the end of time.

So, not only was he commanded to inform his own people in his geographical environment during his lifetime, but his mission stretched to include communicating with every human, in every corner of the world, from the day he was chosen as a Prophet to the very last day on this earth.

When I think about this impossible communication situation, I immediately remember one of the first verses of the Quran revealed to him at the start of his mission:

{We shall send down to you a weighty Message} (Al-Muzzammil, 73:5)

And indeed it was a weighty message, not just in its great content, but also in the immense communication skills required to deliver it thoroughly to a never-ending line of diverse audience, spanning numerous eras and places, through barriers of time, culture, and whatever unimaginable changes human progress would bring.

The Prophet Muhammad's mission stretched to include communicating with every human, in every corner of the world. Today, Islam is the fastest growing religion on earth, with followers approaching two billion people. It’s astonishing to see Muhammad, peace be upon him succeed in this mission, despite the colossal hurdles.

We can’t help but wonder: what are the communication skills that this unique man possessed which qualified him for the honor -and agony-of this ‘mission impossible’?

I’d like to explore with you in this series of articles different aspects of his style of communication; perhaps we could improve our daily lives wherever we live in God’s vast world.

We Are Together On This

As a timeless example for mankind, Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, had six main spheres of communication working in parallel all the time: the first sphere was his connection with God; then with his family; his companions, the Muslim community; his enemies; and the rest of the world. He managed to handle all of them successfully with astounding skill.

In today’s fast paced material world, we sadly watch those spheres morphing together and rapidly shrinking to include only our immediate needs, worries, and ambitions.

In our race for more possessions and personal success, we feel we don’t have time for others, so we connect with them less, and focus on ourselves more.

The result is a world on the verge of destruction because of an increasing number of selfish humans, who communicate less, care less, and take more than their share of everything, even clean air to breathe.

To regain its balance, the world needs more people who are in touch with humanity and with the universe; whose focus includes the wellbeing of others, of the environment, and of the future, whose perception of our world as one unit makes them care for humanity as one nation.

Recognizing that if the ice sheet in Greenland melts, the Nile Delta in Egypt drowns, and if the ozone layer is damaged in the US, more people suffer skin cancer in Australia, because although we may live far apart, we’re actually all "in the same boat". Yet, to be able to turn the tide, such good people need to communicate their values to the world urgently and effectively.

The Art of Analogies

This exact situation was one of Prophet Muhammad’s challenges. Amidst the corruption of the world he was brought into, it wasn’t enough to preach directly, he needed exceptionally effective communication to change paradigms decisively and quickly in order to change the world in one lifetime. So, sometimes he used analogies to illustrate concepts. The Prophet -peace be upon him- said:

"The example of those abiding by God's rules in comparison to those who violate them is like people who drew lots for their seats in a ship. Some of them got seats in the upper deck, and the others in the lower. When the ones below needed water, they had to go up to bring it (which troubled the others), so they said, ‘Let us make a hole in our share of the ship to get water and save those above us from trouble’. If the people in the upper deck left the others do what they had suggested, all the people of the ship would be destroyed, but if they prevented them, both parties would be safe." (Bukhari)

This simple analogy gives us a vivid mental picture to remember and reflect on. It drives in a deep lesson with minimal effort yet with lasting effects. It even gives us a creative idea for communicating an important concept visually to children in order to raise awareness for the future of our environment.

One of my Muslim friends in a Western country complained that kids in her neighborhood are constantly misbehaving, to the extent of spray-painting obscenities on walls. She was wondering if it’s worth it to try to improve the situation, or is it enough to protect her own kids from mixing with their peers and focus on her own home rather than trying to improving the community.

Reflecting on the boat parable, I suggested she involves the parents and the local Imam in her area to get all the kids (both innocent and guilty) to clean and repaint the wall together, then invite everyone to attend a fun sketch derived from the hadith.

we need to explain how we’re all passengers on the same ship, and that if each of us thinks of their local community as this ship, with some people on the ‘top deck’ (i.e. with more knowledge and faith, and consequently better manners and social responsibility) and some people on the ‘lower deck’, then we would proactively join hands to gently educate the less fortunate, and try persistently to ‘save the boat’.

With yet simple- communication, Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, sent us a timeless, universal, multi-cultural message, for young and old, men and women, educated and illiterate, urging us to look outside ourselves, combat our indifference, stretch our attention outside our doorsteps, and get up and make a difference, recognizing that we must not let the wrong-doers take advantage of our beautiful world.

Friday, 26 February 2010

:: A different kind of love story ::


Wew! Another story to share~
And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sabirun (the patient).
( سورة البقرة , Al-Baqara, Chapter #2, Verse #155)
Khadijah C.

A different kind of love story

Faraz Omar
Thursday, 18 February 2010 23:34

JEDDAH -- The love between an Islamic preacher with special needs and a Holy Qur'an teacher has turned into marriage.

The touching story began when Abdullah Banimah, who is completely paralyzed appeared on a satellite television program talking about spreading the message of Islam in several countries in the world.

When his future wife saw the program she immediately told her father about her desire to marry him because she admired him for courageously facing up to his disability and for dedicating his life to Islamic preaching.

Their dream turned true Tuesday when their friends queued along the road leading to the Al-Salam Wedding Hall in Jeddah to wish the couple a happy married life.

Abdullah had almost drowned in a swimming pool at a sports club in Jeddah. He had remained underwater for 15 minutes. This caused a great deal of damage to his brain which resulted in his paralysis.

The incident made him change his life completely by dedicating it to Islamic work.

Dhaiffallah bin Saad Al-Ghamadi, the bride's father, said: "My daughter, who works as teacher for one of the Holy Qur'an memorization schools in Jeddah, chose Abdullah on her own. After insisting she wanted to get married to him, I bowed to her will."

Dhaifallah said the reason for marrying Abdullah is for them to work hand-in-hand in the way of Allah.

Omar Banamh, the groom's father, said: "I have nothing to say but to pray to Allah to crown this marriage by blessing them with pious offspring."

He said he hoped Abdullah will see his children grow up with no disability.

Abdullah was ecstatic about his marriage.

"In the beginning I could not believe this was her desire. She really surprised me. I will never ever forget her noble stand and insistence on accepting me as her husband. I pray to Allah day and night to enable me to make her happy for the rest of my life."

He said he will never forget, for the rest of his days, the many people who had gathered to wish him a happy marriage."

Whew! What a story. Number of points there.

1. There do exist such people Masha Allah. The daughter, her father, her family should all be praised. Imagine yourself in that situation. Would you do that? Or would you allow your daughter to marry a crippled man? What about the extended family? She belongs to Al-Ghamdi family, which means she comes from the so-called "high society". How difficult would it be for people to disregard social honor and societal pressure?.

This is why these people are special, masha Allah. May Allah increase their guidance and bless them with good in this life and the hereafter. These are the role models of a society. They deserve coverage in the media. People need good examples.

2. Look at the zeal they have for Islam. Look at how this man's life changed after a tragedy. So the tragedy was the beginning really. A beginning of a journey insha Allah to achieve the eternal.

3. Despite all difficulties, if Allah wants to bless someone with something, it will come to you. Who would have thought a paralyzed man would get married in the first place? He not only got married, but got a wife who is Insha Allah better than many women.

4. Look at the noble way in which the woman approached the issue of marriage. She fell in love -- a genuine liking for the man and wanted to marry him. She spoke to her father and her father approached the man's family. This is so noble. It's the pure path Islam has facilitated for men and women -- marriage. At stark contrast is the lewd path, where men or women express their feelings to each other and fall into Haraam and illicit relationships. A slippery slope that pulls people down the pit of lust. There's no love, purity or chastity -- there's only pain, selfishness and desires that turn human beings into animals.

Wednesday, 24 February 2010

:: Homosexuals / Bisexuals / Transgender Pt 2 ::

Assalam Alaikum,

Just something more interesting to share!

Khadijah C.

:: Malay-Muslim & Chinese-Muslim Paradox ::

Assalam Alaikum~

Just as I was trying to find more blogs of chinese muslims online, I came upon this blog which mentioned what Dr. Mohd Asri Zainul Abidin voiced.

I was just thinking... Maybe this is one of the BIG issues, that I will have to talk to my parents about because often, the equation in majority's mind is Muslim=Malay... Well, I should do more research and maybe... Insha'Allah, I will be able to break that stereotyping~

Things are tough when culture is mixed with religion... =( Then again, within culture, there are distinction too... hmMmmm... And making matter worst, majority loves to OVERgeneralize when they are faced with challenges... 

Just an example... 

If there is a potato with growing buds (which means poisonous) in a bag of potatoes, 
  • There are some who will just throw that potato away and continue to use the rest...
  • There are some who will throw that potato and check for other potatoes, just  to be cautious...
  • There are some who will overgeneralize that all potatoes in the bag are somehow rotten to certain degree, hence, throw the whole bag away...
Yes, it is true that overgeneralize can protect one's interest... But with that, the person has given up hope of finding the best among the bag of potatoes... No chance for other potatoes in that bag... Never know, it's just ONE potato which is bad... The rest can be made into soup and feed the poor! Isn't it good?

Well, at least they are potatoes without feelings... How hurtful the rest of the potatoes would feel if they are not treated fairly just because over generalization... OUCH! =(

Anyway, this is an example to illustrate my thoughts... hehehe~ Making me hungry now! Potato soup!!! =D

And and, the article is in the context of Malaysia... I think Singaporean Malays are different! Well, at least for the group of my friends I'm with... =D

May Allah (SWT) send me wisdom to counter this issue~ 

Khadijah C.


Article taken from

It's the faith that matters, not race
By Mohd Asri Zainul Abidin
04 February, 2007

IN my observations, among the serious misunderstandings involving religion is the use of the term "Malay" as synonymous with Islam and "Chinese" with infidel. There are Malays who describe a new Muslim convert as masuk Melayu (becoming Malay) or sometimes say that he is "not Muslim but Chinese!" For them, the Chinese represent the infidels and Malays embody the Muslims.

To make matters worse, some Malays label the converted Chinese as mualaf and, more disparagingly in the northern Peninsula dialect, Mat Loh.

Malays assume they are the only pure Muslims, although Chinese Muslims may have stronger faith.

To some Malays, Chinese Muslims are not authentic and are seen merely as hitchhikers.

However, many Chinese who have converted to Islam are more pious, while many Muslim-born Malays are of questionable devotion. Malay attire such as kain pelikat, baju melayu and samping are not the garments worn by the Prophet.

But Malays perceive their clothing as Islamic because it is from Malay culture.

Islam does not impede a culture which is not against its teachings. In the past, Malays perceived the use of chopsticks as wrong because it was associated with Chinese culture.

Actually, there is no difference between eating with one's fingers or using cutlery, or chopsticks. The Prophet called on Muslims to invoke Allah's name, use their right hand and only eat permissible food.

The Prophet once told a young Umar Abi Salamah when the latter was about to eat: "Dear child, say Allah's name, eat with your right hand and consume what is close to you." (Hadith of al-Bukhari and Muslim).

Malays will normally ask Chinese Muslims to change to Arabic names, as if the name Ah Chong, Ah Seng, Lim or Koh would mean they were unIslamic.

Maybe because such names do not sound Arabic, the Malays feel awkward about them.

Sadly, the Malays do not feel the same way about names such as Awang, Leman, Seman and others which are not Arabic either. In reality, there are many Malay names which do not have any meaning in Arabic and some have bad meanings if they are translated.

Still, it is all right for the Malays because they are, after all, Malay names.

Again, are Malays Islam and Islam Malays? The Prophet did not ask those who embraced Islam to change their names as long as they did not have bad meanings.

For instance, the name Umar was used during the pre-Islamic Jahiliyyah period and remained when the person became a Muslim.

I do not stop any Chinese Muslim from changing his name, especially if the new name will make him feel closer to the Muslim community.

Still, they must be given the choice to do so. If the changed names only make non-Muslim Chinese afraid of embracing Islam and fearful that their families will disown them, is it wrong for them to maintain their Chinese names?

If Awang can keep his name, why not Ah Chong?

An assumption that Islam mirrors Malay characteristics has dire consequences in many areas, especially when some Malays themselves act against the teachings of Islam.

Fortunately, most Malays still adhere to the teachings of Islam.

A strong faith is the saving grace in the hereafter.

However, we cannot ignore the fact that many Malays practice syirik (polytheism) and ridicule Allah's commandments and the Sunnah (teachings of the Prophet).

These Malays are only Muslim in name.

From the perspective of history, the majority of the Chinese in Malaysia are non-Muslims. The call of Islam does not seem to reach them. Perhaps this is because the Malays have not effectively imparted the correct form of dakwah (missionary work).

Instead, many Malays portray an attitude that is against Islam.

Although the Malays can discuss many things with the Chinese, including the political party they should vote for, the Malays do not seem capable of presenting the greatness of Islam and inviting the Chinese to follow their religion.

Since many Malays contradict the teachings of Islam, the majority of the Chinese have misconceptions about Islam or abhor the idea of embracing Islam.

Islam is against negative traits such as laziness, apathy, envy and the like. Unfortunately, many Malays possess such attributes.

For instance, many Malay students are left behind in their studies. If they are set against the Chinese, either at school or university, many of the Malays will lag.

Also, most Malays are not interested in acquiring true Islamic knowledge. They would rather listen to Israiliyyat stories (derived from the Bible and Jewish folklore, used to help "fill in" the details especially when the passage is a narrative piece, which were traditionally deemed helpful or at least not harmful but could cloud the meanings of the Quran), fables and advice which are not founded in the Quran and Sunnah.

They prefer easy instruction without research and thought. At public libraries, the number of Malays using these facilities is still small. Chinese students diligently acquire knowledge, whereas many of their Malay
counterparts are distracted by other things.

Some Malay parents will seek out blessed raisins and water for their children just before sitting for examinations to bring on good results. In the end, only those who study hard will excel, not the ones relying on blessed raisins and water.

The non-Muslim Chinese will reject Islam when they witness the Malays' dependence on such practices but still fail to do well in their examinations.

Academically strong Muslims will not rely on water that was blessed with the Surah Yassin (one of the most important chapters in the Quran). Previous generations excelled because they stressed the importance of knowledge and were sincere in their efforts to acquire it. They were not merely focused on getting a certificate. Such qualities led to the creation of a powerful civilisation of knowledge in Islam.

Sometimes we as Muslims should praise the Chinese. Their children can still do well in their undertakings with neither high education nor paper qualifications. They either inherited the skills from their parents or from practical learning. Many successful Chinese businessmen are masters in their respective fields without having official paper qualifications. This trait is highly regarded by Islam. The religion urges its followers to rely on Allah and to increase their knowledge. In Surah Taha (verse 113) God says:

"(Say Muhammad) Oh Lord, increase my knowledge."

Based on what I have mentioned above, how can the Malays bring the non-Muslim Chinese closer to Islam and convince them that Islam has shaped the Malays to become noble human beings? The Chinese businessmen are better managers and portray strong positive traits compared with their Malay  counterparts - to the extent that many Malays have more confidence in Chinese businessmen than their own. Where are people like Abd al-Rahman bin Auf, a Muslim role model of doing business? Maybe the Chinese, the majority of whom are non-Muslims, have a keener insight into Abd al-Rahman's business
acumen than the Malays.

There is much else that I can say, to the point that I am inclined to think that if the Malays were not Muslim, there would be little else they can be proud of. If the Chinese can receive Islam in its true form, they will have much to offer.
* The writer is the Mufti of Perlis.

Monday, 22 February 2010

:: Dr. Brown, another motivation of mine ::

Assalam Alaikum!!! =D

Just another link to share about this convert in US, who is a doctor and loses practically everything within a year of him being a Muslim... In the video, he mentioned how his loved ones, including his wife, children and parents left him... Making matter worst, his wife took his children and property, making him homeless... =(

But Alhamdulliah, because of his firm faith, he was given better things in life! Yay!! Praises to Allah(SWT) for making his promise true!! =D

Just my thought here...

When things are taken away, it's just maybe a way of Allah(SWT) to give us something better!!! He always wants the best for us, doesn't He? But we are the one who follow our desires and going against what He has for us... In the end, we got terribly hurt... But Allah(SWT) is soOoo forgiving that He forgives us when we repent and turn to him again... He will give us the best again!!! yoOoohoOoo!! =D 

Just gotta stay firm and patience as He has something else better for us!

That you believe in Allah and His Messenger (Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم) and that you strive hard and fight in the cause of Allah with your wealth and your lives: that will be better for you, if you but know!
[ سورة الصف , As-Saff 61:11]

Except those who repent (from hypocrisy), do righteous good deeds, hold fast to Allah, and purify their religion for Allah (by worshipping none but Allah, and do good for Allah's sake only, not to show off), then they will be with the believers. And Allah will grant the believers a great reward.
[ سورة النساء , An-Nisa, 4:146]

Whatever Dr. Brown said in the video are my deepest fear, but I'm not going anywhere else, except to stay on the lighted, guided path... I'm praying hard that family and friends would understand my decision~ Pray for me to be strong and be firm~
Khadijah C.

:: Half my deen ::

Assalam Alaikum!!! =D

hehehe~ I did something smartie!!! Oh well, I think it's smartie... =D

I am in the mode of waiting patiently for "half my deen"... My soulmate lah! hehehe~

One of my friends asked if why am I always thinking about marriage... Humph! I've been getting ready since long long time ago (Well, I thought I was!) but the fortunate man has not appeared yet! hahahaha~ Anyway, marriage is one of those things Allah(SWT) has created us for, right?

And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.
[Ar-Room 30:21]

Oh well, now I realised I need to work harder to be a goodie wife and mother! Okay, don't laugh at me... I am just getting myself mentally prepared~ How many women out there are at loss when they are married?! And they just start to find solutions when problems are magnified! I think I'm just smartie to start gaining knowledge to know the simple basis of marriage before it happens!

Anyway, Allah (SWT) said he makes things in pair and I believe my other half will come! Maybe not in shinning armour with a white horse, but still, someone best-est for me as He, who created us, would want the best for me! I shall be waiting patiently... Insha'Allah~

There's soOoo much things to do while waiting!!!

Like, I need to learn how to pray proper, learning arabics, learning how to cook PROPER food, learning how to be tolerant, how to be considerate, etc... And also to prepare my family mentally for accepting me as a muslim and of course, my future family too! Wow!!! SoOoo many basic things I need to learn and do!

Well, also, I've started on something... hehehe~ Just beaming from ear to ear to think of this... I bought a notebook so that I can start writing to my hubby! Alright, stop laughing! It's not silly okay...=P This is smartie idea! And it would be the best gift he can ever received as a wedding gift!

Of course, I am not painting a perfect picture of my family... Every human being has their not-so-good and goodie sides... That's why Allah(SWT) makes us in pairs so that our soulmate and complete each other...

From what I see from my parents, there will be ups and downs, but what most important is how a couple should strived towards their goals in life~ It's never a "me, me, me" situation in married life because there'll be compromising and giving up stuffs that is only beneficial to oneself...

Wow, do I sound expert? hahahaha~

Just see the couples around us and reflect... and learn from those who have everlasting long marriages... Like our parents!

Alright, I'm not going to talk too much because it's just between me and hubby... And and HIM, our creator, Almighty!!! hee~ I pray that my half will come into my life soon! Meanwhile, I'll just write to him in my lovey dovey notebook... hehehehe~

Khadijah C. 

Sunday, 21 February 2010

:: Critical thinking and reflection ::


Just wanting to share this article about "What Drives People to convert to Islam"...
Just speaks right to the point! Of course, this is for those who revert because they believe, not because they are married to a muslim man/woman, hence, the conversion...

The likeness of the life of the present is as the rain which We send down from the skies: by its mingling arises the produce of the earth- which provides food for men and animals: (It grows) till the earth is clad with its golden ornaments and is decked out (in beauty): the people to whom it belongs think they have all powers of disposal over it: There reaches it Our command by night or by day, and We make it like a harvest clean-mown, as if it had not flourished only the day before! thus do We explain the Signs in detail for those who reflect.
[Surah Yunus 10:24]
Khadijah C.

:: Peace by Forgiving ::


It's me again! =) Just haven't been updating since I've been thinking much on forgiveness... Sometimes, it's just soOoo much ill feelings, like disappointment, anger, jealousy, etc... All these negative emotions are just works of Shaitan to mislead us in having a peaceful live... Personally, I have experienced all these emotions~

People who are betrayer after much has been done for them...
People who are "disappoint-or" after making promises and not fulfilling them...
People who just take advantage of your own goodness...
People who take you for granted...
And, to see others having what you has been wishing for make life more difficult...
And all these make you think if you are really silly to believe in people...
Then the emotional sins starts appearing...
(Just like those stated by the early Christians about the 7 deadly sins- Eg: Anger, Jealousy, despair)

This feeling gets soOooo much that it starts to make life negatively... Hopes are given up, there's fear in everything and life's just on the edge of the cliff... This applies to everyone, if only they think about it...

Then again, thinking of it, what's the use of all these negative feelings? It's getting nowhere but everyone feeling miserable and hurt... I mean, if things are done out of selfishness and people treat you badly, then who else to blame except oneself...

But the society is so bad that people are practically "lazy" as in not willing to take care of others welfare... or just making use of each other to get their own agenda - "Selfishness"... It's everywhere in the world... Even in schools!!! Where it should be the safest place to educate children... (Alright, I'm just helping my teacher friends to vent out anger! hahaha~)

But seriously, what is happening? Where is the sense of harmony? The sense of commitment? The care and concern for each other?

Allah (SWT) said in the Qur'an that he guides those whom he wills~ So, if we have all the qualities stated in the Qur'an that we take care of our community (Believers & disbelievers) and care for them... Yet in the end, we get heartbreaks and disappointment... Should we be the one who should be having negative feelings?

Or should they be disappointed because they are soOoo into their own selfishness that we should pity them because they are not the guided ones YET... unless they repent? Well, it would be good if they repent cause they would feel the guilt towards those they have done wrong... On the other hand, even if they don't repent, Allah (SWT) would punish them, wouldn't he? In either way, they are at the losing end... So, why contain negative feelings for "losers"... Negative feelings are just works of the Shaitan to mislead us...

Well, I agree... We are humans and we have such feelings and it's not easy to fight these feelings but thinking of it... We should work towards this "forgiveness" because it will make us better! And and... we should pity people who hurted us...

We should build our lives better so that they could see that whatever bad they had done to us, are not going to make us weak!!! On the contrary, we gotta be strong and stay firm!!! Show them that it's their lost by not having us in their lives.... Anyway, we have our greatest protector, who is the provider for everything we need! =D

Whatever ye are given (here) is (but) a convenience of this life: but that which is with Allah is better and more lasting: (it is) for those who believe and put their trust in their Lord:

Those who avoid the greater crimes and shameful deeds, and, when they are angry even then forgive;

Those who hearken to their Lord, and establish regular Prayer; who (conduct) their affairs by mutual Consultation; who spend out of what We bestow on them for Sustenance;

And those who, when an oppressive wrong is inflicted on them, (are not cowed but) help and defend themselves.

The recompense for an injury is an injury equal thereto (in degree): but if a person forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is due from Allah. for ((Allah)) loveth not those who do wrong.

But indeed if any do help and defend themselves after a wrong (done) to them, against such there is no cause of blame.

The blame is only against those who oppress men and wrong-doing and insolently transgress beyond bounds through the land, defying right and justice: for such there will be a penalty grievous.

But indeed if any show patience and forgive, that would truly be an exercise of courageous will and resolution in the conduct of affairs.

For any whom Allah leaves astray, there is no protector thereafter. And thou wilt see the Wrong-doers, when in sight of the Penalty, Say: "Is there any way (to effect) a return?"

And thou wilt see them brought forward to the (Penalty), in a humble frame of mind because of (their) disgrace, (and) looking with a stealthy glance. And the Believers will say: "Those are indeed in loss, who have given to perdition their own selves and those belonging to them on the Day of Judgment. Behold! Truly the Wrong-doers are in a lasting Penalty!"

And no protectors have they to help them, other than Allah. And for any whom Allah leaves to stray, there is no way (to the Goal).
[Surah Ash-Shura 42:36-46]

And thus have We, by Our Command, sent inspiration to thee: thou knewest not (before) what was Revelation, and what was Faith; but We have made the (Qur'an) a Light, wherewith We guide such of Our servants as We will; and verily thou dost guide (men) to the Straight Way,-

The Way of Allah, to Whom belongs whatever is in the heavens and whatever is on earth. Behold (how) all affairs tend towards Allah.
[Surah Ash-Shura 42:52-53]

Khadijah C.