:: Intercultural Marriage ::

Assalam Alaikum,

This topic has been on my mind for the past few days~

Why are the other generation so sour upon the idea of intercultural marriage? Yet, it is on the rise in the younger generation...

What did Prophet Muhammad do about this?

But surely, I know as I read from his last sermon...

"All mankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over black nor a black has any superiority over white except by piety and good action. Learn that every Muslim is a brother to every Muslim and that the Muslims constitute one brotherhood. Nothing shall be legitimate to a Muslim which belongs to a fellow Muslim unless it was given freely and willingly. Do not, therefore, do injustice to yourselves. 

O People, NO PROPHET OR APOSTLE WILL COME AFTER ME AND NO NEW FAITH WILL BE BORN. Reason well, therefore, O People, and understand words which I convey to you. I leave behind me two things, the QURAN and my example, the SUNNAH and if you follow these you will never go astray. 

Remember, one day you will appear before ALLAH and answer your deeds. So beware, do not stray from the path of righteousness after I am gone." 
Taken from http://www.islamicity.com/Mosque/lastserm.HTM

Now, back to the topic on intercultural marriage... I think hard and deep and this is my conclusion from my thoughts and experiences...

Often you hear "Communication" being the main essential elements in marriage... But being unique, intercultural marriage also requires "knowledge" in the marriage... Of course, if you know well enough, these are the two key factors which is emphasized in the Qur'an and Hadith too~ Which means, the first element to look out for in a soulmate is their Imam...

Fear of Allah (SWT)

Oh well, it's true there are soOoo many muslims out there saying this saying that about their religion, how people should do this not that, because it is written in the holy book... But, when it comes to themselves... How many are actually following fully? Just a handful really... I agree that there are many muslims out there who has the knowledge of the religion, but many of them are selective... Where are those who really dig deep into the wisdom of what was revealed to our beloved Prophet and follow it, making it into our lives?

Qur'an is a holy book, it's no ordinary book which you read and apply... Allah (SWT) put hidden wisdom in the book so that people of understanding will ponder about it and understand the true meaning behind... Not just follow blindly...

"He it is Who has sent down to thee the Book: In it are verses basic or fundamental (of established meaning); they are the foundation of the Book: others are allegorical. But those in whose hearts is perversity follow the part thereof that is allegorical, seeking discord, and searching for its hidden meanings, but no one knows its hidden meanings except Allah. And those who are firmly grounded in knowledge say: "We believe in the Book; the whole of it is from our Lord:" and none will grasp the Message except men of understanding.
( سورة آل عمران , Aal-e-Imran, Chapter #3, Verse #7)

This is all I know and I cannot say anything much more because I'm not a guru in being a practising muslim... At least physically I am not because I still look like a normal chinese girl~ But spirtually, I'm trying all my very best to follow what was revealed...

When marriage comes into mind, cultures play a HUGE part... Scary but true...

Why are there cultures which are not open to other culture, whereas in the last sermon of Prophet Muhammad (SAW), he reminded us that we are all brothers and sisters... Maybe it's communication and knowledge...

Communication

Intercultural marriage means there are more point of views when disagreement arises... Human beings are being "shaped" by their cultural background, Eg: society, families' beliefs, etc... When two persons come together, there is a pool of different view points.. Whats more, each of them believe that their view points are correct... In such case, conflicts occur...

Subhan'Allah!! He made me travel half a globe away to seek knowledge... True and precious knowledge~

I have been studying about communication for 2 years now and conflicts are main issue that occurs... Why are there unsolved issues, why do people get upset over each other because of conflicts? On the other hand, why are there people who can overcome conflicts? Well, all lies in what is being communicated...

To cut the story short, communication requires words and feelings (Body language)~ If feelings aren't right, words will not be right too~ And also... conflicts occur when two parties do not have the same focus... One talks about "123", another talk about "456"... Well, on the surface, there's no common ground... But if one were to understand fully, there are actually talking about numbers! Conflicts will be resolve when numbers become their focus point...

Back to intercultural marriage, what is their focal point? I don't know about others but being a willing muslim revert, my focus point would be to have a pious family... OhHhhh yes! It is easy, isn't it? But Allah (SWT) puts tests on us... Obstacles will be there to have a pious family.. He wants to see if you follow what was being revealed, then He will give whatever you want~ Sounds logical right? =D

Knowledge

Talking about focus point, knowledge comes into the picture... For an intercultural marriage, each party needs to know about each other~ Not just on surface, but deep thoughts... What is he/she thinking like that, why is he/she doing this? Many a times, we assume situations based on our own knowledge... But in intercultural marriage, things are different because there are more view points...

On the baseline, all human beings are the same... According to Maslow's Hierarchy of needs (hahaha! See, I'm a smartie!), human being basic needs are simple, food, water, being feel loved... That's all simple... It's our desires, past experiences which make us complicated...

Conclusion

*phew* I feel tired after talking so much... hee~

My muslim friends told me that sometimes, she feel like muslim revert knows much more than born muslim... hmMmmm... Oh well, we revert because we found the truth and we are ever so eager to find out the truth and follow it as closely as we can!

I agree I am eagerly wanting to start a family but not too desperate to the extend that I forget what Allah (SWT) wants from me as a muslimah~ Qur'an and Hadith are the two books I cling on firmly now~ Tell me where it is and I will follow it~ Anything other than that, I'm not entertaining~

There are many good examples of intercultural marriage... This is one way to spread Islam, isn't it? That's how ties of kinship are forged by marriage... Prophet Muhammad married these wives (‘Ãisha bint Abi Bakr, Hafsah bint ‘Umar ibn al-Khattãb, Umm Habibah, daughter of Abu Sufyan, Safiyyah bint Huyaiy ibn Akhtab) for the reason too...

Taken from http://www.aimislam.com/forums/index.php?/topic/10416-prophets-other-marriages/

I pray hard that Allah (SWT) will send me a man who will accept who I am... and that he will be a man of good Iman so that both of us can raise pious children who can contribute to the religion... Most importantly, I pray that his family will be glad to accept me too, Insha'Allah~

W'salam,

Khadijah C.